Trip to Silence

The hue settled unfazed by lustrous neon bulbs. I was thoroughly exhausted after few kilometers of walk along the acclivity of the hill, part of himalayan range. There was no motive to walk even more. Small portion on the top of the hill was decorated with glimmering small light bulbs. Street lights were dim and looked even more so in presence of patchy mobile fog clusters. Tea stall was few steps ahead. It was visible as fogs couldn't subsist with the fuming tea kettle. It looked as if the tea-wala has broached open the clouds and resided in them as a great entrepreneurial creativity. I was mesmerised by the idea of having tea amidst the cloud. I sipped a bit and closed my eyes and breathed more as though trying to suck the cloud within, so as to nullify the hot tea taken.

It was not the rejuvenating tea but a refreshing rest that made me feel to go further and conquer this rise. After few more steps, I didn't see much interesting thing ahead. Just fog. Moving fog. As it moved, I thought, I dreamed. One bridge appeared between the clouds as if it never bridged with any material on this earth. No dreams. It was there and yes, it became another motivating factor to walk me faster towards it. I sprinted many steps in one, trying to reach the bridge with alacrity. Finally I reached and was disappointed to find that I indeed stood amid the dense fog but it wasn't dense enough to hide the materialistic bridge that actually bridged with earth. It no more looked divine. It became just another mile-stone in reaching atop.

Rising above, along the cliff, it grew more humid and fog seemed too pregnent to rain. And I actually saw them dripping at distance and before I could think anything more, it rained right over my head as well. I got fully drenched and shiver ran through my veins. But it didn't trouble me a bit. I just move ahead. There was no force within me to make me move towards the goal. There was no thoughts, no desire, anything what-so-ever that I could attribute my movement to. I was walking in silence. And that silence was the one I longed for so long. The night was absolutely chilling and I didn't don anything that wasn't wet. But somehow it didn't bother me. I realized absolute silence is the power. It is the power that buddha had. In my absoluteness, I could witness my own feelings, my own body, my own self as though I wasn't one with them. I saw them as seperate entities from myself. Lights were gone due to heavy rain in recent moments and I had no clue where would I go except for the fact that occassionally few groups walked aside me and roared,'Jai Mata Di'. They danced as if hallucinated. I danced as if I existed no more. It wasn't me dancing, it was the silence within me, dancing.

I reached the Vaishnodevi temple by the morning and was able to attend the morning 'pooja'. I stood in the long queue asking myself, 'why did I come here?'. I had no sleep the whole night just to visit a temple. I knew one thing, at the begining of my journey, I had one doubt in my mind,'why am I so sad these days?'. By the time, I reached atop and attened the morning prayer, I had no idea about why me doing all this. But when I started my way back to foothill. I realized, I was sad because I missed the silence within. I was missing the breath-taking hardwork. My purpose was solved. I got embraced by the Goddess. I was no more alone and sad. I was enlightened.