Oh !! Me !! Wandering 16 feet above the ground, watching the whole earth as a chess board, the pawns well placed and knew their role quite well. Only the Unbeknownst player knows the aim for this endless rule based wanderings of each pawn. Generally, its not quite visible from a plane as high as 16 feet from ground. But I made every possible effort to discern whats going on, down there. Her eyes were closed and she stood against a wall. A boy was kissing her on lips as good as a child licks the icecream, or better than that, with better effort atleast. His eyes were open and seemed to be gaining something. But looking a girl I felt, she enjoyed more than the boy. Surrender is womanish and is so enjoyable. Alertness is male by nature. Alert people never enjoy a single bit of life. They just be alert, follow few rules and live a great life serving the Master Player. I wish, this boy could be woman for a moment. I wish, could he be bit surrender-ous and reach the level of enjoyment, she has reached already.
A 'bazaar', the first place to make the whole world a civilized place. The first place to make the 'economy', one powerful parameter in this World. 'Commodity' is the integral part of bazaar. 'Commodity' is something that can sold/bought. In this world, each and every person is a commodity. This is the characteristic that collates both the living and non-living entities. Non-living 'commodities' are exchanged for money/wealth. Living commodities are exchanged for emotions, power and sometimes money/wealth. Spinoza used to say, 'This whole universe is one common substance'. Sometimes, I feel, even though this statement looks metaphysical and philosophical in nature, it has similarity to many concepts arising in the world, Human rights, Economics, Racism..
Now the biggest myth, the whole humanity lives in. Each living human being is a commodity as well as a pawn following certain rules, being placed at certain position on the chess board of destiny. I saw another girl, may be married woman. She had her hands in hand with her husband. They both, once upon a time made a pact with each other, in the witness of their so-called-near-and-dear-ones, that they will sleep together, bear children and respect each others emotions. Now thats deal. This deal has placed them at a unique place on the chess-board. Now they can only have certain moves specified by the pact. What have made their lives miserable, is that pact ? Rules and ecstacy don't go hand-in-hand. They are semantically opposite, although not linguistically. The simplest step forward to achieve ecstacy is, forget the sense of commodity. Now as soon as that 'deal', that 'pact' is forgotten, the shear relationship becomes enjoyable. In short, if the couple forgets that they are married they will have better orgasm than before.
Next step is to forget the sense of pawn itself. Let's align with the player, not with pawn. Forget the rules, the mom-dad has given us, the society has given us, the teachers have given us. It will let the real creations to emerge from our-own-selves, the real selves, not the commodities.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
तिलक Revisited
One fine morning I woke up only to discover that I had bad stinking breathe due to smoking and still bad mood because of what I have been drifting through-out past my life and what I am gonna drift for rest of my life. Freedom is my birth right, says some big shot in indian 'political' independence. Well what I mean is, it is not some kind of fake thing with me as it is for everyone else including the sayer himself. My thoughts, actions, attitude, habits and consciousness, everything is free. Free of social bondages and un-acknowledged dictums.
You all, don't be so snickery and your souls don't talk to you some piece of golden words as it is to me. Your society is a fake notion. Set of some forlorn people who come together to form dictums they themselves follow and expect everyone to follow. Does this make a society? No. Society is for the benefit of all. Not for alliance with some rules formed eons back. It needs to be re-furbished. Political thoughts seeks balance between commonality and individuality. US and UK are tooo individualist, so lot of concessions for people. Homosexuals/transexuals/euthanasia and such many tooo individualist stuffs are allowed there and some places like that. But not everywhere. The change is political thought. Whose benefit is it for ? Take china. The thought centralized in commonality. it lies more in commune. Nothing to do with individuals. Not even bloggin is allowed. Polity is so skeptic of its own people that it suppresses even a single ignite within its territory to the entire world, even so benign world wide web.
Here I envision, man to become society in himself. Man to be free as Tilak says, not in words, not in thoughts but indeed.
You all, don't be so snickery and your souls don't talk to you some piece of golden words as it is to me. Your society is a fake notion. Set of some forlorn people who come together to form dictums they themselves follow and expect everyone to follow. Does this make a society? No. Society is for the benefit of all. Not for alliance with some rules formed eons back. It needs to be re-furbished. Political thoughts seeks balance between commonality and individuality. US and UK are tooo individualist, so lot of concessions for people. Homosexuals/transexuals/euthanasia and such many tooo individualist stuffs are allowed there and some places like that. But not everywhere. The change is political thought. Whose benefit is it for ? Take china. The thought centralized in commonality. it lies more in commune. Nothing to do with individuals. Not even bloggin is allowed. Polity is so skeptic of its own people that it suppresses even a single ignite within its territory to the entire world, even so benign world wide web.
Here I envision, man to become society in himself. Man to be free as Tilak says, not in words, not in thoughts but indeed.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
भारतीय दर्शन का भूला बिछ्रा मार्ग
Story of alienation begins like this। Three thousand years ago, there use to be six theistic(astika) schools of Indian Philosophy, Nyay, Samkhya, Vedanta, Yoga, Mimamas, Vaiseshika. Only three are extant now, Mimamsa, Yoga and Vedanta. Reason, rest all were too metaphysical and provided no short cuts. Yoga and Vedanta have prevailed owing to great efforts from ISKCON and Swami Vivekanda. Leave Vedanta and Yoga aside, the one irrational school of thought has prevailed in every household, in every ceremony is Mimamsa. Mimamsa says, it is possible to achieve God, dispel Sorrow and reach salvation by means of Karm-Kanda i.e. some religious processing (like satyanarayan bhagwan kee Pooja Or Feast for 5 Brahmans or Visiting a Temple, atop the mountain).
One of the most logical and epistemologically rich school of thought was Samkhya। Samkhya had dualist view of the world. According to Samkhya, there exist just two things in the world, Purush (its Atman, Soul irrelevant to Gender) and Prakriti (the nature, body,॥). Prakriti is a primordial substance that metamorphoses into various other forms and shapes. Like, Earth gets converted to food we eat. Our excreta gets dissolved back to earth. Our body is just one form of prakriti. It will eventually dissolve in prakriti. It will again be primordial thick mass indistinguishable between you and me. The actual identity of the person is Purush not prakriti. His self lies in Purush, the atman. But he feels, he is, his body. He feels, he is his power, his position. The roots of sorrow are here. They are right here in the Person’s identification with prakriti. Person is unable to distinguish himself from his body that is root of all his sorrow.
Shrimad Bhagvad Geeta, makes many reference to Samkhya school of thought। But the ways and solutions provided in Samkhya are no more followed. They have been forgotten. Other short-cut, lowly schools are followed and ingrained in the thought process of future generations. Future generations tend to become smarter and logical, they started rejecting illogical processions, illogical chantings. They are misled that Indian philosophy is meager Karm-Kanda and nothing more. Time is now to rejuvenate the other less paved ways of Indian Philosophy….
One of the most logical and epistemologically rich school of thought was Samkhya। Samkhya had dualist view of the world. According to Samkhya, there exist just two things in the world, Purush (its Atman, Soul irrelevant to Gender) and Prakriti (the nature, body,॥). Prakriti is a primordial substance that metamorphoses into various other forms and shapes. Like, Earth gets converted to food we eat. Our excreta gets dissolved back to earth. Our body is just one form of prakriti. It will eventually dissolve in prakriti. It will again be primordial thick mass indistinguishable between you and me. The actual identity of the person is Purush not prakriti. His self lies in Purush, the atman. But he feels, he is, his body. He feels, he is his power, his position. The roots of sorrow are here. They are right here in the Person’s identification with prakriti. Person is unable to distinguish himself from his body that is root of all his sorrow.
Shrimad Bhagvad Geeta, makes many reference to Samkhya school of thought। But the ways and solutions provided in Samkhya are no more followed. They have been forgotten. Other short-cut, lowly schools are followed and ingrained in the thought process of future generations. Future generations tend to become smarter and logical, they started rejecting illogical processions, illogical chantings. They are misled that Indian philosophy is meager Karm-Kanda and nothing more. Time is now to rejuvenate the other less paved ways of Indian Philosophy….
Sunday, November 4, 2007
God
Either a thing exist or it exist not. Thomas Aquinas elaborates further. If a thing exist now that means at some point of time it would have existed not and at some time in future it will cease to exist again. Now for all the atheists in the world, If this world, this universe exists now, it would have been some point in past when it wouldn't have been there. If nothing existed then how could something come out of nothing. This calls for inevitability of God. If nothing exists then God prevails. The term we call nothingness or emptyness is feeling of Godliness, Divinity.
We become knowledged by perception of outside world through our senses. Through senses we create mental image of these worldly objects. So our world consists of set of these images, impressions and Ideas. In short, World is nothing but collection of these infinite ideas. Now keep subtracting your ideas, impressions and mental images from your knowledge subset, until you reach ZERO. Attainment of zero, is nothing but feeling of emptyness, feeling of nothingness, feeling of Godhood. This transition of Humanhood to Godhood is possible only by removing the curtain of knowledge and ideas.
Next step is dropping the idea of Idea itself. Dropping the idea of process of mental image formation. Dropping the idea of impressions. This will prevent us from forming any idea or mental imagery. With this nudity of knowledge, you become as nascent as a new born baby in the world. In this state, even a look at any petty object will make you feel the difference, that you have been seeing this world throgh a tainted glass of your ideas. You have been devoid of Godliness. You have been devoid of nothingness.
We become knowledged by perception of outside world through our senses. Through senses we create mental image of these worldly objects. So our world consists of set of these images, impressions and Ideas. In short, World is nothing but collection of these infinite ideas. Now keep subtracting your ideas, impressions and mental images from your knowledge subset, until you reach ZERO. Attainment of zero, is nothing but feeling of emptyness, feeling of nothingness, feeling of Godhood. This transition of Humanhood to Godhood is possible only by removing the curtain of knowledge and ideas.
Next step is dropping the idea of Idea itself. Dropping the idea of process of mental image formation. Dropping the idea of impressions. This will prevent us from forming any idea or mental imagery. With this nudity of knowledge, you become as nascent as a new born baby in the world. In this state, even a look at any petty object will make you feel the difference, that you have been seeing this world throgh a tainted glass of your ideas. You have been devoid of Godliness. You have been devoid of nothingness.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Green or Red Revolution
JMM leader and former CM of Jharkhand state, Babulal Marandi’s daughter gets killed by Naxalites. Reason is attributed to first Green revolution way back in1960s. In the population of 1000+ crores, 650 Crores gain their livelihood from agriculture. A govt of India has bare 1.27% of GDP planned for improvement in agricultural sector. Out of 650 Crores, nearly 300 Crores gain are land-less farmers and agro-labors. Past 60 years of planning has worked on technological advancements in agriculture. Technological advancements have multiplying effect on the throughput on agriculture sector. At the dawn of independence, there has been huge economic inequality in population involved in agriculture. Because of technological multiplication factor, the inequality itself has been multiplied to a larger hiatus. The rift between rich peasantry and land-less labors has increased manifold past 60 years. No wonders, more than 1/3rd of Indian territory is inflicted with Naxalism. Its com-proportionate with percentage of land-less labor.
Land reforms have never been addressed in five year plans of India. Despite Leftist involvement in NDA coalition, there is no agenda on land-reforms. Government has no plans to address distribution of land to land-less farmers, ceiling on agricultural land for rich peasants. Without these reforms, the economic rift in agricultural hoi polloi will not improve. And any advancement in technology and farming is going to accentuate the inequality. First Green revolution has been triggered in the areas of already high production and rich peasants such as Punjab, Western UP and Harayana. Partially because of immediate sorting of food sufficiency problem in India that time, or immediate high returns of investment from economic ground, or political stratagem with rich land-owners, but beneficient cycle of growth didn’t whirl to the extent expected in other regions.
I heard, there is going to Land reform committee headed by PM (Luminary PM). Let’s see how the second green revolution works out, just to keep Red revolution in Abeyance.
Land reforms have never been addressed in five year plans of India. Despite Leftist involvement in NDA coalition, there is no agenda on land-reforms. Government has no plans to address distribution of land to land-less farmers, ceiling on agricultural land for rich peasants. Without these reforms, the economic rift in agricultural hoi polloi will not improve. And any advancement in technology and farming is going to accentuate the inequality. First Green revolution has been triggered in the areas of already high production and rich peasants such as Punjab, Western UP and Harayana. Partially because of immediate sorting of food sufficiency problem in India that time, or immediate high returns of investment from economic ground, or political stratagem with rich land-owners, but beneficient cycle of growth didn’t whirl to the extent expected in other regions.
I heard, there is going to Land reform committee headed by PM (Luminary PM). Let’s see how the second green revolution works out, just to keep Red revolution in Abeyance.
Monday, October 29, 2007
It happens only in India..
Yesterday withstood my impact on echelons, tomorrow won’t. Politics of Somalia might have been decrepited by militia but it won’t last longer because chaos is very energetic phenomena. And universal law dictates that every object tends towards losing its energy. So the chaos always summarize to order. Anarchy always culminates in Democracy. Some societies are born will lot of inertia. Some are born with lot of latent energy. Though we all represent one human society. There exist differential approach and perspective within us, that contends us to be different from others. So all societies tend to be unique.
Tenets of Indian culture imbue tolerance and patience in the individuals of India. More than half the population lives in poverty. They do so with aspirations and hope of better tomorrow. They rarely do anything to get rid of it. But they do move with external pressure. A perfectly inertial Indian society. China differs none from India. They too have lot of people below poverty line. But they system believes in exploiting the latent energy within there people. Really, Indian and China are not comparable on any grounds. If there is unemployment in China, Chinese govt will send 10 batches of 100 people from the area to city to have training on entrepreneurship and provide them accountable funds to kick-start there means of livelyhoood. What will happen in India is very dramatic in that sense? They will imitate European countries or partially because of vote bank (Alas !! the universal suffrage), they will provide unemployment allowances to people to assuage. And the worst will happen when even the employed, unregistered people will wipe out all the money for their mobile phones.
Such stupendous policies tend to make sure our latent energy becomes as latent as possible and are subsequently inherited by our offsprings. Well the universal law still holds true, Objects naturally move towards lesser energy. So we keep moving towards stagnation and poverty. Thanks to external thrusts like FDI, FII,P-Notes and Outsourcing that some do have good standard of living.
Tenets of Indian culture imbue tolerance and patience in the individuals of India. More than half the population lives in poverty. They do so with aspirations and hope of better tomorrow. They rarely do anything to get rid of it. But they do move with external pressure. A perfectly inertial Indian society. China differs none from India. They too have lot of people below poverty line. But they system believes in exploiting the latent energy within there people. Really, Indian and China are not comparable on any grounds. If there is unemployment in China, Chinese govt will send 10 batches of 100 people from the area to city to have training on entrepreneurship and provide them accountable funds to kick-start there means of livelyhoood. What will happen in India is very dramatic in that sense? They will imitate European countries or partially because of vote bank (Alas !! the universal suffrage), they will provide unemployment allowances to people to assuage. And the worst will happen when even the employed, unregistered people will wipe out all the money for their mobile phones.
Such stupendous policies tend to make sure our latent energy becomes as latent as possible and are subsequently inherited by our offsprings. Well the universal law still holds true, Objects naturally move towards lesser energy. So we keep moving towards stagnation and poverty. Thanks to external thrusts like FDI, FII,P-Notes and Outsourcing that some do have good standard of living.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Boredum
I rubbed my eyes in desperation that o shit ! this morning isn't different either. The same old sun, same old house and all other paraphernalia. What me felt is boring and tedious. Thousand and one human think the same way. Then they go ahead with their chores. How wrong was Heraclitus to say, that, 'we don't enter the same river again'. He inculcated 'nature of change' in every subtle 'change of nature'. And his disciple goes even a step ahead saying, 'we never enter a river, even once'. Then could I breath the same air again ? How could I feel the same boredom twice ? How could I stay in the same house again, every moment ?
Boredom is unique every time. We tend to think in continuum but we don't think different things at all. We think 90% of things that we thought a day before. We think repeatitiously, the same thought again and again, unconsciously. Ever thought why we think at all this way ? If we do that then we are enlightened. Boredom is awareness that we have been thinking the same thing for long time. Boredom is consciousness. Thinking is hallucination. A sort of euphoria for Mind. Its an appetite for mind. Mind cannot live without thinking.
Boredom is beginning of something new. It makes us pregnant for novelty. But always, our mind takes over this novel embryo. And we succumb to pleasure of mind and mind keeps churning old thoughts again and again in vicious circle.
So dear friends, if ever you come accross boredom, try out something as bizzarre as possible and don't succumb to mind. Make it subservient. Make him listen and you go on uttering, whats uncommon and bizarre...
Boredom is unique every time. We tend to think in continuum but we don't think different things at all. We think 90% of things that we thought a day before. We think repeatitiously, the same thought again and again, unconsciously. Ever thought why we think at all this way ? If we do that then we are enlightened. Boredom is awareness that we have been thinking the same thing for long time. Boredom is consciousness. Thinking is hallucination. A sort of euphoria for Mind. Its an appetite for mind. Mind cannot live without thinking.
Boredom is beginning of something new. It makes us pregnant for novelty. But always, our mind takes over this novel embryo. And we succumb to pleasure of mind and mind keeps churning old thoughts again and again in vicious circle.
So dear friends, if ever you come accross boredom, try out something as bizzarre as possible and don't succumb to mind. Make it subservient. Make him listen and you go on uttering, whats uncommon and bizarre...
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Still and Spellbound.....
He stood staring at her spanish brocade window panes, still shut as though no one resided there. He stared a rosy endless stare and to his bonne chance, window panes cranked open. The most beautiful hands, belle mains appeared and tucked the hooks in the panes to broader purview. 'Cathy, God forbid, Yesterday night I dreamed .... a sinister dream... you just flang that curtain !! ', she summoned. Cathy replied,' O Madame, the grande lady of ile de re, what you dreamed is juss the shadow of the reality, something good is to happen, madame".
Fabio sighed hopely relief and it started to rain. The rain started to trickle through his hairs and soaked in his coat unless it drenched and started to drip.The sunrays blend with the rain, pesevered to his face and reflected back from his eyes. Rosera chuckled with joy, looked up to the sky and witnessed the flock of fog, seeping in the rain. Her eyelashes impregnated with dew drops, her hairs settled upto her honey breasts. Fabio rekindled the confidence and beckoned her,'Rosssera !!'. The bland voice in the lively ambiance got lost. He called her again.
Rosera, with her exponent smile, curvy eye brows settled her eyes on her beloved Fabio, 'O Cathy, the greatness happened. None days had been so beaux... So gorgeous as this..'. ' The lord of the worlds has showered so intense zephyr through my veins that I see my Fabio, the love of my life..' Fabio stood still, spell bound in the curves of his beloved. He couldn't beckon her again. Her mere presence bestowed the divinity unto him.. Unsurpassed.. The heart with joy became so free and and felt too extraneous to reside in his body... It became free of all the bondage.. As though he waited this moment his whole life ever since in prison... Rosera couldn't resist her tears down trickling and merging with the rain... Even though settled through her life and her routines.. . She couldn't never beleagour that feeling to meet him again.... Her child might have gone to new age.. But her eyes still were cherubic... childlike... seeking... thirsty... She just witnessed fabio for few moment, the moment which was her own, the essence of her very own.. and never to again ... be for her...
People screamed, ' some one died here ..O. the dead body.. ' 'Do you know who is he' 'He was here for past few hours' 'Let me call the cops..'
Cops came and took his body for examination..
Rosera still weeping with her stone eyes....
It still rained. Fog still settled on her balcony. Sunrays still seeped to her room..
Fabio sighed hopely relief and it started to rain. The rain started to trickle through his hairs and soaked in his coat unless it drenched and started to drip.The sunrays blend with the rain, pesevered to his face and reflected back from his eyes. Rosera chuckled with joy, looked up to the sky and witnessed the flock of fog, seeping in the rain. Her eyelashes impregnated with dew drops, her hairs settled upto her honey breasts. Fabio rekindled the confidence and beckoned her,'Rosssera !!'. The bland voice in the lively ambiance got lost. He called her again.
Rosera, with her exponent smile, curvy eye brows settled her eyes on her beloved Fabio, 'O Cathy, the greatness happened. None days had been so beaux... So gorgeous as this..'. ' The lord of the worlds has showered so intense zephyr through my veins that I see my Fabio, the love of my life..' Fabio stood still, spell bound in the curves of his beloved. He couldn't beckon her again. Her mere presence bestowed the divinity unto him.. Unsurpassed.. The heart with joy became so free and and felt too extraneous to reside in his body... It became free of all the bondage.. As though he waited this moment his whole life ever since in prison... Rosera couldn't resist her tears down trickling and merging with the rain... Even though settled through her life and her routines.. . She couldn't never beleagour that feeling to meet him again.... Her child might have gone to new age.. But her eyes still were cherubic... childlike... seeking... thirsty... She just witnessed fabio for few moment, the moment which was her own, the essence of her very own.. and never to again ... be for her...
People screamed, ' some one died here ..O. the dead body.. ' 'Do you know who is he' 'He was here for past few hours' 'Let me call the cops..'
Cops came and took his body for examination..
Rosera still weeping with her stone eyes....
It still rained. Fog still settled on her balcony. Sunrays still seeped to her room..
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
She ... Samadhi....& Solace..
She, Samadhi and Solace
I feel pity that Vivekanda's birthday is not a national holiday. Such and more national heroes who awakened the souls not only in india but worldwide are forsaken by Indian Government on the pretext of hinduism. But nevertheless, declaring somebody's birthday as national holiday doesn't make him more important than other person. Its after all the ideology, the work, the commitments and the achievements of person that makes him venerable, de facto. I have been particularly quite enchanted by Swamiji's sayings. He talks positive. He gives you goal. He gives you power to reach the same. The best way to reach this orgasm of energy, is to witness Vivekananda's samadhi on the southern coast of India.
One fine gloaming, the sun sets with divine blush over the welkin. Red sky marrying the sea. Red beams of light dividing the sea-skin as though a majestic sword has flung open to frighten the enemy and sea is melting it as if it retains magma in place of water. Silvery sand imitates the sky and becomes red-soothing. One fine godly lady was relaxing there. Her skin red-shone with apparance of sun. Her hairs unbunned and flowing with wind, as though its not the hair but the flair of a skilled painter. She wore the dress that displayed her bosom half from the top that glistened even more with the gleaming ambience. She has wrapped herself in a fair white blanket in such a way to ostentate her bodice unpretentiously. The gloaming sun made her so bright that it belied the truth that sun made the ambience shone. She looked above in the sky, towards the welkin with unfathomable feelings. But her beauty for sure was fathomable.
Samadhi looked pretty bright and red under the welkin of gloaming sun. It symbolised the strength of mind, soul. It represented the pinnacle of meditation,'Dhyan'. I saw the samadhi beyond her neck. The pillars of samadhi seems being pecked by her chin. The floor of samadhi seems resting on her breasts. The canopy, partially covered by her face. Her eyes seems seeing the canopy for unhearkened reason. I looked beyond her. I looked beyond samadhi. It was bright sun. It was visible. It was visible to such an extent that nothing else remained visible. Neither the lady. Nor the samadhi. Just a bright sun. There remained accord. Accord with nature. Harmony with unknown. This harmony with unknown is in the seeds of embracing the known. I know the lady, I know her bodice. I know the beauty she has. I know it and I go beyond. I know the samadhi. I know the power. I know the strength of the soul. I know the samadhi and I go beyond. I find nothing but solace. I find harmony in the bosom of unknown. The unknown is beyond senses. The unknown is infinite orgasm of human-self. The path to unknown is via known. And she is the step.. first....
I feel pity that Vivekanda's birthday is not a national holiday. Such and more national heroes who awakened the souls not only in india but worldwide are forsaken by Indian Government on the pretext of hinduism. But nevertheless, declaring somebody's birthday as national holiday doesn't make him more important than other person. Its after all the ideology, the work, the commitments and the achievements of person that makes him venerable, de facto. I have been particularly quite enchanted by Swamiji's sayings. He talks positive. He gives you goal. He gives you power to reach the same. The best way to reach this orgasm of energy, is to witness Vivekananda's samadhi on the southern coast of India.
One fine gloaming, the sun sets with divine blush over the welkin. Red sky marrying the sea. Red beams of light dividing the sea-skin as though a majestic sword has flung open to frighten the enemy and sea is melting it as if it retains magma in place of water. Silvery sand imitates the sky and becomes red-soothing. One fine godly lady was relaxing there. Her skin red-shone with apparance of sun. Her hairs unbunned and flowing with wind, as though its not the hair but the flair of a skilled painter. She wore the dress that displayed her bosom half from the top that glistened even more with the gleaming ambience. She has wrapped herself in a fair white blanket in such a way to ostentate her bodice unpretentiously. The gloaming sun made her so bright that it belied the truth that sun made the ambience shone. She looked above in the sky, towards the welkin with unfathomable feelings. But her beauty for sure was fathomable.
Samadhi looked pretty bright and red under the welkin of gloaming sun. It symbolised the strength of mind, soul. It represented the pinnacle of meditation,'Dhyan'. I saw the samadhi beyond her neck. The pillars of samadhi seems being pecked by her chin. The floor of samadhi seems resting on her breasts. The canopy, partially covered by her face. Her eyes seems seeing the canopy for unhearkened reason. I looked beyond her. I looked beyond samadhi. It was bright sun. It was visible. It was visible to such an extent that nothing else remained visible. Neither the lady. Nor the samadhi. Just a bright sun. There remained accord. Accord with nature. Harmony with unknown. This harmony with unknown is in the seeds of embracing the known. I know the lady, I know her bodice. I know the beauty she has. I know it and I go beyond. I know the samadhi. I know the power. I know the strength of the soul. I know the samadhi and I go beyond. I find nothing but solace. I find harmony in the bosom of unknown. The unknown is beyond senses. The unknown is infinite orgasm of human-self. The path to unknown is via known. And she is the step.. first....
Saddam
No Ruler is without opponents. When russian communists chased and killed their opponents right from Moscow to Mexico, it didn't infuriate nobody. When pakistani military ruler General Zia hanged the democratically legitimate authoritarian of pakistan Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, No voice raised around the world. Neither did America felt it infringement of human rights or violation of democracy or annihilation of world-peace. When Mao of china routed Chiange-kai-Shek from China mainland to Taiwan, No one dared talk about equality. Why? Because these are power-games. One ruler makes laws, amends constitution to facilitate his legitimacy. Sometimes it makes it possible to suffocate their opponents, as did Stalin in 1940's. Laws of one country are not binding on nationals of other country.
Imagine A supreme court judge of India sentences some person XYZ of capital punishment. Tommorrow, some other country where capital punishment is not in the constitution, annexes India and accuses the judge of homicide because as per their law it is illegitimate. This is flaw. The same flaw is being entertained in Saddam's verdict as well. Whatever he did is part of power-game, everyone does that. Everyone kills their opponents, traitors as per the existing laws in that country, it need not conform to any international dictum. However, if such things are unacceptable to international community then a proper instrument should deviced that makes constitution of all the countries conform some basic humanitarian fundamentals. However it is preposterous to accuse someone on the basis of laws of someother country for the deeds done legitimate as per constitution of his own country.
Imagine A supreme court judge of India sentences some person XYZ of capital punishment. Tommorrow, some other country where capital punishment is not in the constitution, annexes India and accuses the judge of homicide because as per their law it is illegitimate. This is flaw. The same flaw is being entertained in Saddam's verdict as well. Whatever he did is part of power-game, everyone does that. Everyone kills their opponents, traitors as per the existing laws in that country, it need not conform to any international dictum. However, if such things are unacceptable to international community then a proper instrument should deviced that makes constitution of all the countries conform some basic humanitarian fundamentals. However it is preposterous to accuse someone on the basis of laws of someother country for the deeds done legitimate as per constitution of his own country.
World of Worlds
I was amid the vista of multicolored trees on the streets. Greenary is a misnomer for the trees in europe cuz not many trees happen to be green. They are orange, yellow, maroon and even red. The crunchy fallen leaves seemed unable to flow due to little drizzles every now and then. Alas ! They do flow with the wind sometimes. The scene is nonetheless exotic and beauty uncomparable. Occassionally when me and me-like my friend stroll towards home in evening, the streetlights are no more as if deliberately put-off by some mad naturalist, who cannot imagine glossing over even the finest and subtlest natural beauty.
The place is nevertheless alien to non-french people and english is almost extinct with exception of some young crowd and rare old population. But the universal language of symbols everyone understands. It's an interesting dumb-charade where you can't give up and the audience feel sorry for not being able to understand. The modesty and formality are the armour of french-man. They know how to eat, how to talk, how to befriend etc. but all this without a tinge of artificiality. I always thought mannerism is artificial but here I feel, mannerism is an innate nature of the individual out here.
The other language of smile and humor is nonetheless universal. Its always the best way to convey how good you feel about the others. Simplicity is yet another attribute of french-man. They are fashionable yet simple because it don't care a damn about the other. Moreover, its the higher stage of civilization when an individual doesn't bother about the other and granularity of perspective shifts from collectivistic to individualistic. On this scale, delhi is the least civilised place on this earth.
Simple but yet so uncontrolled.
'Cigerette (pronounced - cig - haaat) ', a french girl says with her eyes not meeting mine as though looking above the upper eyelids, in the desirous meditation, in the solo objective, in the insatiable thurst.
'Sorry !!, I din get'. Me replied
'Cigerette', she repeated frowning.
'No, I don't have', Me replied with no particular gesture but floating deep being in some other thought.
Life is so simple here that monotony couldn't be obviated without residing onto something off-track as drugz, cocaine or some or the other kind of obsession good or bad depending on the individual, but generally bad as it is simple to follow ( again simplicity in choosing the simple way).
Its wrong if someone says, that the world is small. Its actually very big. Each individual is one world. Each individual has one replica of the world, his own personal copy literally untarnished by other's copy. Here, Me analyzing the world of all the worlds.
The place is nevertheless alien to non-french people and english is almost extinct with exception of some young crowd and rare old population. But the universal language of symbols everyone understands. It's an interesting dumb-charade where you can't give up and the audience feel sorry for not being able to understand. The modesty and formality are the armour of french-man. They know how to eat, how to talk, how to befriend etc. but all this without a tinge of artificiality. I always thought mannerism is artificial but here I feel, mannerism is an innate nature of the individual out here.
The other language of smile and humor is nonetheless universal. Its always the best way to convey how good you feel about the others. Simplicity is yet another attribute of french-man. They are fashionable yet simple because it don't care a damn about the other. Moreover, its the higher stage of civilization when an individual doesn't bother about the other and granularity of perspective shifts from collectivistic to individualistic. On this scale, delhi is the least civilised place on this earth.
Simple but yet so uncontrolled.
'Cigerette (pronounced - cig - haaat) ', a french girl says with her eyes not meeting mine as though looking above the upper eyelids, in the desirous meditation, in the solo objective, in the insatiable thurst.
'Sorry !!, I din get'. Me replied
'Cigerette', she repeated frowning.
'No, I don't have', Me replied with no particular gesture but floating deep being in some other thought.
Life is so simple here that monotony couldn't be obviated without residing onto something off-track as drugz, cocaine or some or the other kind of obsession good or bad depending on the individual, but generally bad as it is simple to follow ( again simplicity in choosing the simple way).
Its wrong if someone says, that the world is small. Its actually very big. Each individual is one world. Each individual has one replica of the world, his own personal copy literally untarnished by other's copy. Here, Me analyzing the world of all the worlds.
Oneness with Lotus.
'twas dusky, ghostly midday of outskirts in Nantes. The bus was treading amid miniature hills and hillocks. I kissed the lotus. The lotus looked upto the sun, that wasn't there. The sky seemed about to drip. It was neither pain nor pleasure, just pure serenity. It was dead day of christmas when all roads were with rare vehicles and still rarer human beings. Still I managed to find the rarest secluse where I could sit and appreciate the presence of Lotus. The lotus was alive. Her soul was lively. The caress was gentle and beatific. I kept looking in her eyes. She didn't understand, what me upto. But I knew, 'twas the one-ness with her that now she's indispensable for me. She didn't knew her eyes were the one - unfathomable where I could deepen eons and eons. She didn't knew her touch reminds me of the eternal One, the supernal harmony. She didn't knew her hairs reminds me of the great bliss as though I am on the highness of the clouds. The wind that ran through us. The hatred. The apathy. Torn the lotus petals and left me forlorn. In the end, the journey outside ends and the journey inside begins. The harmony with exteriority ends and synchrony within commence. The petals are far - far away. The wind has flown it the way it had to. The eyes are half-closed and still. The ambience is One within and out. The sky is still dusky and pregnant to drip. Me, is again alone with myself.
Superconsciousness
When I was too young, I thought life is very simple and hence boring. There was somebody who could take care of my problems. Thats my parents. But then again there were problems that they didn't dare handle. I thought thats the limitation of humanity. Because for me, my parents were my world. As I grew up, I realized world is without boundaries. Anything that my mind can think, it can do. There is no question mark in the world. Everything is possible. The sky is unlimited and boundaries does not exist, if at all they do then they are psychological. Then I thought, I could any thing and everything. I didn't think much before plunging into it.
I thought, If someone else can do, why cannot I. Man has several levels of realization. First step is material self, that every one has. Second is, something within, the conscious self, the 'atman'. Third and most intangible is, super-consciousness. No, I am not bluffing anything philosophical, its very practical. If one believes in consciousness, he must believe in super-consciousness. Super-consciousness is the phenomena of collective consciousness of the humanity. Its the cosmos. Imagine, We all, every one around here have one common brain, one common energy that flows within all of us. It is as if, many children are getting nurtured by one umbilical cord. Feeling of super-consciousness comes on realization of one-ness with the cosmos. It is the realization that the immense cosmic energy is within yourself.
Realization of wave that it is nothing, is so pessimistic. Realization of wave that it is the whole ocean, is superconsciousness. When a wave thinks that it is something, it is misleading itself. But when it realizes that the WHOLE is it. A Human being is beyond the boundaries of small-spanned, time-bound, mediocre wave. Human being is extemporaneous manifestation of grand ocean. Its realization of superconsciousness is connecting with cosmos, is one-ness with the whole. Its no more philosophical. It has been proven with Reiki. With Reiki, I get connected to the cosmic energy and heal myself and others. Thats how the energy flows within and out. That makes me feel, mediocrity is unnatural. Every person is born divine and super-natural. No one is mediocre. Its just that some people deny the boundaries and realize the cosmic self within . While others, keep haggling with day-to-day problems and live muggle life.
I thought, If someone else can do, why cannot I. Man has several levels of realization. First step is material self, that every one has. Second is, something within, the conscious self, the 'atman'. Third and most intangible is, super-consciousness. No, I am not bluffing anything philosophical, its very practical. If one believes in consciousness, he must believe in super-consciousness. Super-consciousness is the phenomena of collective consciousness of the humanity. Its the cosmos. Imagine, We all, every one around here have one common brain, one common energy that flows within all of us. It is as if, many children are getting nurtured by one umbilical cord. Feeling of super-consciousness comes on realization of one-ness with the cosmos. It is the realization that the immense cosmic energy is within yourself.
Realization of wave that it is nothing, is so pessimistic. Realization of wave that it is the whole ocean, is superconsciousness. When a wave thinks that it is something, it is misleading itself. But when it realizes that the WHOLE is it. A Human being is beyond the boundaries of small-spanned, time-bound, mediocre wave. Human being is extemporaneous manifestation of grand ocean. Its realization of superconsciousness is connecting with cosmos, is one-ness with the whole. Its no more philosophical. It has been proven with Reiki. With Reiki, I get connected to the cosmic energy and heal myself and others. Thats how the energy flows within and out. That makes me feel, mediocrity is unnatural. Every person is born divine and super-natural. No one is mediocre. Its just that some people deny the boundaries and realize the cosmic self within . While others, keep haggling with day-to-day problems and live muggle life.
France in Me.
Sky was azure and bright. I stood there with my face, facing the welkin. Horizon was delimited by the atlantic ocean. I saw ducks on the beach that later I came to know, were sea-hens. That's the speciality of atlantic ocean. When I skid on the not-so-expressive frozen ice on the foot-path, I came to know, foot-path could be slippery without cow-dung also. When I had the hardest bread in my life, I realized why it is called 'pain' in french.
I am never alone. I always find beautiful creatures around me. Somebody is stone hard planned and calculative then someone is so careless that he doesn't bother where he's going and realizes what he has eaten after having it all. On the first day in office, I met the person whom I considered, whole-n-sole. But later on I realized, He was NOTHING, simply NOTHING. But then again, It is so mediocre to be with people who are SOMETHING. So being sophisticated and modest, I did lunch with NOTHING.
Once I decided to go to Paris, for some official work. I needed tickets and travel information. I went to the lady who does all these work. Fortunately, She didn't knew english. I had another oppertunity to explore my non-verbal skills. But unfortunately, she couldn't bear me for long. She went and asked someone, whom I thought NOTHING, to act as translator. He came and took immense interest in my travel to paris. He was french chauvinist. He planned all my weekends to some or the other beaches, mountains, historic towns (of course whose history was beyond my purview). Later on, I realized, He was BIG-THING.
Sooner, I was joined by one plump and cute norwegian. He was quite senior to me and had good experience in my company. He used to take lunch with us. He was quite a photographer than a software engineer. He used to roam alone. I don't know how people roam alone. But he did that quite gracefully. He was the example complete narcissist. He loved himself. He was contented with himself, his profession and his passion that he needed no one else. Not even for appreciating his works. Then Christmas came and he went to Oslo. I don't whether he ever discussed about us to his family. But one thing is that, that no single day was gone without discussion about him.
One freezing day and I thought, 'its pretty hot today'. Somebody from my office stopped and beckoned me to get in the car. I was pleased. But when it came to my notice that outside it was subzero. His eyes glistened and mine surprised. We didn't talk no more.
Few people in france love indian food. They gave us the map to reach one indian restaraunt. Even though I didn't miss much the indian food. I just went to the place. I was greeted in the restaraunt by NAMASTE. He was the old, frail, well dressed, gujrati by tongue and french by nationality manager cum owner of the restaraunt. His parents were from Gujrat. Gone or deported to Medagascar in 1912, for I don't know what reasons. And France, the beautiful and humane country on this earth, given french citizenship to all the descendents. Hence was he there. He didn't knew English. But he knew tidbits of Hindi. Not very fluent but cute.
I am never alone. I always find beautiful creatures around me. Somebody is stone hard planned and calculative then someone is so careless that he doesn't bother where he's going and realizes what he has eaten after having it all. On the first day in office, I met the person whom I considered, whole-n-sole. But later on I realized, He was NOTHING, simply NOTHING. But then again, It is so mediocre to be with people who are SOMETHING. So being sophisticated and modest, I did lunch with NOTHING.
Once I decided to go to Paris, for some official work. I needed tickets and travel information. I went to the lady who does all these work. Fortunately, She didn't knew english. I had another oppertunity to explore my non-verbal skills. But unfortunately, she couldn't bear me for long. She went and asked someone, whom I thought NOTHING, to act as translator. He came and took immense interest in my travel to paris. He was french chauvinist. He planned all my weekends to some or the other beaches, mountains, historic towns (of course whose history was beyond my purview). Later on, I realized, He was BIG-THING.
Sooner, I was joined by one plump and cute norwegian. He was quite senior to me and had good experience in my company. He used to take lunch with us. He was quite a photographer than a software engineer. He used to roam alone. I don't know how people roam alone. But he did that quite gracefully. He was the example complete narcissist. He loved himself. He was contented with himself, his profession and his passion that he needed no one else. Not even for appreciating his works. Then Christmas came and he went to Oslo. I don't whether he ever discussed about us to his family. But one thing is that, that no single day was gone without discussion about him.
One freezing day and I thought, 'its pretty hot today'. Somebody from my office stopped and beckoned me to get in the car. I was pleased. But when it came to my notice that outside it was subzero. His eyes glistened and mine surprised. We didn't talk no more.
Few people in france love indian food. They gave us the map to reach one indian restaraunt. Even though I didn't miss much the indian food. I just went to the place. I was greeted in the restaraunt by NAMASTE. He was the old, frail, well dressed, gujrati by tongue and french by nationality manager cum owner of the restaraunt. His parents were from Gujrat. Gone or deported to Medagascar in 1912, for I don't know what reasons. And France, the beautiful and humane country on this earth, given french citizenship to all the descendents. Hence was he there. He didn't knew English. But he knew tidbits of Hindi. Not very fluent but cute.
Happiness
I didn't had any friends. No one thought the way I did. I was alone. But actually I was not alone. I had thoughts and I never cared if any one embraced them or not. Why should I feel happy for something thats not going to be there, the next moment? Why should I feel happy for temporary materialistic gains? There is no need for it per se. Everyone start having desire right from their childhood. They feel fulfilling the desire results in happiness. And yes they are right. But Happiness is such a mediocre thing to follow. everyone keep aspiring for it. Is it really important? It is important to make a difference. Happiness may not be result of all endeavors. I worked hard and did something. But I didn't feel happy in the end. Path was intriguing and exciting. But end was as mediocre and tasteless as it was before.
I have stopped living for the end. I live for the transition. Because I know the transition is the one thats exciting. Its not the end. Leave the thing, you love the most. so that you can keep loving it. Love that doesn't last forever is the love un-culminated. Culimination is death. Marriage is not the beginning. It is the end of love and begining of relationship. There is nothing lovely about relationships. It is economic and emotional. Nothing lovely, pure business. Emotional business.
Transition from bachelorehood to married guy, makes me realize that love is not noun, it's verb. Later on, it becomes habit and daily affair. By the time, its inculcated in your blood. It has lost the charm. We beget a child. What I feel for the baby is care and I realize, Love is care. When he's 20+ and doesn't listen to me. I realize, love is forgiving. When he's adult and lives far away, I realize, love is yearning. When I am no more. No more do I am in these bindings, these affairs. I realize, love was my one-ness with all others at some or the other point of time. I am enlightened and I am no more.
I have stopped living for the end. I live for the transition. Because I know the transition is the one thats exciting. Its not the end. Leave the thing, you love the most. so that you can keep loving it. Love that doesn't last forever is the love un-culminated. Culimination is death. Marriage is not the beginning. It is the end of love and begining of relationship. There is nothing lovely about relationships. It is economic and emotional. Nothing lovely, pure business. Emotional business.
Transition from bachelorehood to married guy, makes me realize that love is not noun, it's verb. Later on, it becomes habit and daily affair. By the time, its inculcated in your blood. It has lost the charm. We beget a child. What I feel for the baby is care and I realize, Love is care. When he's 20+ and doesn't listen to me. I realize, love is forgiving. When he's adult and lives far away, I realize, love is yearning. When I am no more. No more do I am in these bindings, these affairs. I realize, love was my one-ness with all others at some or the other point of time. I am enlightened and I am no more.
I am Love.
I rose these rabbits, who roved around bush formed by conglomeration of unequal banana trees. It elated me to elevate and airborne these agile monsters and rescue them just when they were about to get ground. They never loved me. For them, I smelled for fear. I don't know how often they witnessed me, witnessing them but they were quite indifferent to anyone's gaze. They were indifferent of falling tamarind flowers and resisted sunrays through the feathery foliage of the tree. The day was not very sunny but sultry, air pregnent with moisture and about to coalesce. Sun seems diffused not very shiny and discrete. Clouds were far from the sun but the subtle fog around made me feel, as if they were within me. It was rather dense and transient fog above the river. It made the other side of the river partially translucent. Engaging part of it was the thrill, trasience and the revelation from the other side.
The lady who slept with her head on my shoulders and one hand always gripping mine till it sweat. People called her my wife and for me she was my preyasi. I gazed accross the river while she slept unbeknownst of the ensuing beautiful transience. Fog scuttled rapidly for don't-know-why reasons. The human image appeared accross the river, meditating and mediating my tryst with the most resplendent lady, I ever imagined. She bathed with her eyes shut, facing the moonlike-sun on not-so-vivid day. Sunrays glistened from the dewdrops settled on the tip of her eyelashes. She was perched shoulder-deep in the river but the waves seems playing with her snowy breasts. No eyes could resist the immense beauty and splendor she had. Couldn't there be any mettle that could justifiably bejewel the lady, akin diamond. Appreciation of the beauty was precarious fall in love. The rabbits didn't feel nothing as they couldn't ever feel anything. No sooner, fog re-settled between the divinity and me. She disapparated but the sublime beauty still remained.
My wife got up and enquired me to go home. I saw her and felt her my own. That instant is gone which had been my tryst with divinity and beauty profusely sublime. She is in my arms and the love again trickled through my heart. It never happens that one loves anyone always because love is instantaneous and discrete. It is not continous. The continous and ever-present is not love but relation. Love is revelation of the moment and the moment it is tried to be stretched beyond that instant, it becomes burden. Being in instant love, you be love. Love is not something to have or do. Nothing imperative in Love. Love is state of being. I am in love is absolutely wrong statement. The corrrect is, I am Love.
The lady who slept with her head on my shoulders and one hand always gripping mine till it sweat. People called her my wife and for me she was my preyasi. I gazed accross the river while she slept unbeknownst of the ensuing beautiful transience. Fog scuttled rapidly for don't-know-why reasons. The human image appeared accross the river, meditating and mediating my tryst with the most resplendent lady, I ever imagined. She bathed with her eyes shut, facing the moonlike-sun on not-so-vivid day. Sunrays glistened from the dewdrops settled on the tip of her eyelashes. She was perched shoulder-deep in the river but the waves seems playing with her snowy breasts. No eyes could resist the immense beauty and splendor she had. Couldn't there be any mettle that could justifiably bejewel the lady, akin diamond. Appreciation of the beauty was precarious fall in love. The rabbits didn't feel nothing as they couldn't ever feel anything. No sooner, fog re-settled between the divinity and me. She disapparated but the sublime beauty still remained.
My wife got up and enquired me to go home. I saw her and felt her my own. That instant is gone which had been my tryst with divinity and beauty profusely sublime. She is in my arms and the love again trickled through my heart. It never happens that one loves anyone always because love is instantaneous and discrete. It is not continous. The continous and ever-present is not love but relation. Love is revelation of the moment and the moment it is tried to be stretched beyond that instant, it becomes burden. Being in instant love, you be love. Love is not something to have or do. Nothing imperative in Love. Love is state of being. I am in love is absolutely wrong statement. The corrrect is, I am Love.
Atheism
Some people I met while my stay in france were just too amazing to be followed. This guy was from Russia but he didn't want to go back as its too cold during that season. I wanted to go there because I never experienced subzero to such extent. For me, its a new experience. For him, it was harsh reality, the routine. I personally was quite interested in knowing many things about russia as it has been great soviet union, USSR before fall of berlin wall. The incident that resulted in many unforeseen results like expanse of globalisation, free trade, more market and what not. Americans and western europeans were very happy about the event. They quoted USSR as 'russia ruling other soviets as colonies'. For them, it was shear freedom. They promoted non-red activists in all the soviets, Ukraine, Serbia, Bosnia, Czech and many more. But after all, fall of USSR was detrimental for Russia. Its power got diminshed. Rouble could no more remain stable currency.
Those were two schools of thoughts. Neither was true. I wanted to hear something from the common russian, who doesn't care much about politics but his daily affairs. I asked him about how does fall of USSR affect life of common russian. He looked puzzled and gave the expression of indifference. He was not much interested in politics but as a foreigner was asking his opinion on his own country he made the prima facie expression of an aware citizen and replied,' yes certainly it was bad for Russia.' By the terse response and puzzled expression, I reckoned its not worthwhile to pursue that topic any further. I changed the topic and asked that I heard that about half the population of russia is atheist. For this he snickered as if I have been duped by misleading channels. He replied effortlessly that,' For getting jobs in Russia, people out there register themselves as atheist even though they visit church every sunday'. I exclaimed with a big-O.
Communists are officially atheists. But what use is the Marxism or Confucianism, if they couldn't change the minds of hoi polloi. These philosophies have been misused by power hungry people like Stalin, Lenin and Mao to subjugate it from Monarch on some or the other humanitarian grounds. Ideally, Marxism should have been economic system but not the political weapon to seize power. It is neither a spiritual framework. It should have no business per se to infiltrate in person's personal sphere of following any sect, creed or cult. Marxism used equality as a weapon to cut-size the unequal sections of the society. It proved to be a brutal method of implementing humanitarianism for common public. But they could result in rule by public. They resulted in consistent power among few, chosen ones. It was as if one monarch was replaced by many. People lost their voice, their freedom.
Now look at the ultra-liberal countires like Norway, Sweden and Denmark. People out of their own will move toward atheism. There is no positive re-enforcement nor any negative one. But consensus reveal the trend. Voter cards have the column for no-religion. And here in india, our constitution doesn't promote any religion in particular. But it does promote following some or the other religion. There is no column for no-religion. I don't know if its good or bad but it's just not complete.
Those were two schools of thoughts. Neither was true. I wanted to hear something from the common russian, who doesn't care much about politics but his daily affairs. I asked him about how does fall of USSR affect life of common russian. He looked puzzled and gave the expression of indifference. He was not much interested in politics but as a foreigner was asking his opinion on his own country he made the prima facie expression of an aware citizen and replied,' yes certainly it was bad for Russia.' By the terse response and puzzled expression, I reckoned its not worthwhile to pursue that topic any further. I changed the topic and asked that I heard that about half the population of russia is atheist. For this he snickered as if I have been duped by misleading channels. He replied effortlessly that,' For getting jobs in Russia, people out there register themselves as atheist even though they visit church every sunday'. I exclaimed with a big-O.
Communists are officially atheists. But what use is the Marxism or Confucianism, if they couldn't change the minds of hoi polloi. These philosophies have been misused by power hungry people like Stalin, Lenin and Mao to subjugate it from Monarch on some or the other humanitarian grounds. Ideally, Marxism should have been economic system but not the political weapon to seize power. It is neither a spiritual framework. It should have no business per se to infiltrate in person's personal sphere of following any sect, creed or cult. Marxism used equality as a weapon to cut-size the unequal sections of the society. It proved to be a brutal method of implementing humanitarianism for common public. But they could result in rule by public. They resulted in consistent power among few, chosen ones. It was as if one monarch was replaced by many. People lost their voice, their freedom.
Now look at the ultra-liberal countires like Norway, Sweden and Denmark. People out of their own will move toward atheism. There is no positive re-enforcement nor any negative one. But consensus reveal the trend. Voter cards have the column for no-religion. And here in india, our constitution doesn't promote any religion in particular. But it does promote following some or the other religion. There is no column for no-religion. I don't know if its good or bad but it's just not complete.
Illusion
Illusion was indistinguishable from reality. I switched off my perception of reality and believed it never existed. I felt the air that flown through my nasals were meagre conincidence and supportive that I was alive materially. I was on the rear seat of the car and couldn't see more than flat darkness. When I dared open the windows, the chill filled the ambiance inside. Some trees were visible but looked ghastly in the full moon. Speed was low as we were unsure of the way to my hometown. We got mislead in dark and have gone quite far from the right place. It was quite late and generally all the villagers were fast asleep except the elderly people who suffered paranoia.
We stopped. I din't step out. Someone else who accompanied me got out and asked the local guy about 'Mehboobganj'. He beckoned some direction that wasn't rosy in first look. But we din't had no other choice. We went ahead and finally we reached a point where I felt, 'YES' , this place looks identifiable. Now in every chill, I felt, I could sense warmth of belongness. Now all the trees I saw seemed inviting me to my own land. Now the canal that ran parallel to road, reflected full moon as though street light went along with us. Tender mustard leaves were dancing in rejoice. I couldn't imagine my motherland looked so beautiful in winters. That beauty couldn't fade my smile that persisted over the time.
Finally, I reached my house and saw many people whom I rarely seen in past years, were dancing, singing and rejoicing not for my arrival but for the occassion that I never termed as occassion, my marriage. I went atop, on the terrace. Stretched my legs and arms so as to loosen the gravity it gained while sitting for a long time in the car. I breathed high and looked above, glanced the moon, who glittered relentlessly. Stars were bright. Some were moving. I guess one of them must be satellite. But how does it matter. It all looks the same. The singing, dancing faded. I looked around. Greenary was not visible in the moon light. But it certainly engendered vivid pictures of how it will look in the morning. Someone called me, 'Bhaiyya'. I saw the silhouette of an old lady, my grandmother who got dinner for me. After finishing my dinner, I slept on the couch under the open sky, looking in the stars, thinking nothing as though reality didn't exist to think much about, as though illusion was what I saw and heard, as though I was hallucinating, as though my eyes closed and dreamed and saw nothing more than what I could see with them right open.
We stopped. I din't step out. Someone else who accompanied me got out and asked the local guy about 'Mehboobganj'. He beckoned some direction that wasn't rosy in first look. But we din't had no other choice. We went ahead and finally we reached a point where I felt, 'YES' , this place looks identifiable. Now in every chill, I felt, I could sense warmth of belongness. Now all the trees I saw seemed inviting me to my own land. Now the canal that ran parallel to road, reflected full moon as though street light went along with us. Tender mustard leaves were dancing in rejoice. I couldn't imagine my motherland looked so beautiful in winters. That beauty couldn't fade my smile that persisted over the time.
Finally, I reached my house and saw many people whom I rarely seen in past years, were dancing, singing and rejoicing not for my arrival but for the occassion that I never termed as occassion, my marriage. I went atop, on the terrace. Stretched my legs and arms so as to loosen the gravity it gained while sitting for a long time in the car. I breathed high and looked above, glanced the moon, who glittered relentlessly. Stars were bright. Some were moving. I guess one of them must be satellite. But how does it matter. It all looks the same. The singing, dancing faded. I looked around. Greenary was not visible in the moon light. But it certainly engendered vivid pictures of how it will look in the morning. Someone called me, 'Bhaiyya'. I saw the silhouette of an old lady, my grandmother who got dinner for me. After finishing my dinner, I slept on the couch under the open sky, looking in the stars, thinking nothing as though reality didn't exist to think much about, as though illusion was what I saw and heard, as though I was hallucinating, as though my eyes closed and dreamed and saw nothing more than what I could see with them right open.
Trip to Silence
The hue settled unfazed by lustrous neon bulbs. I was thoroughly exhausted after few kilometers of walk along the acclivity of the hill, part of himalayan range. There was no motive to walk even more. Small portion on the top of the hill was decorated with glimmering small light bulbs. Street lights were dim and looked even more so in presence of patchy mobile fog clusters. Tea stall was few steps ahead. It was visible as fogs couldn't subsist with the fuming tea kettle. It looked as if the tea-wala has broached open the clouds and resided in them as a great entrepreneurial creativity. I was mesmerised by the idea of having tea amidst the cloud. I sipped a bit and closed my eyes and breathed more as though trying to suck the cloud within, so as to nullify the hot tea taken.
It was not the rejuvenating tea but a refreshing rest that made me feel to go further and conquer this rise. After few more steps, I didn't see much interesting thing ahead. Just fog. Moving fog. As it moved, I thought, I dreamed. One bridge appeared between the clouds as if it never bridged with any material on this earth. No dreams. It was there and yes, it became another motivating factor to walk me faster towards it. I sprinted many steps in one, trying to reach the bridge with alacrity. Finally I reached and was disappointed to find that I indeed stood amid the dense fog but it wasn't dense enough to hide the materialistic bridge that actually bridged with earth. It no more looked divine. It became just another mile-stone in reaching atop.
Rising above, along the cliff, it grew more humid and fog seemed too pregnent to rain. And I actually saw them dripping at distance and before I could think anything more, it rained right over my head as well. I got fully drenched and shiver ran through my veins. But it didn't trouble me a bit. I just move ahead. There was no force within me to make me move towards the goal. There was no thoughts, no desire, anything what-so-ever that I could attribute my movement to. I was walking in silence. And that silence was the one I longed for so long. The night was absolutely chilling and I didn't don anything that wasn't wet. But somehow it didn't bother me. I realized absolute silence is the power. It is the power that buddha had. In my absoluteness, I could witness my own feelings, my own body, my own self as though I wasn't one with them. I saw them as seperate entities from myself. Lights were gone due to heavy rain in recent moments and I had no clue where would I go except for the fact that occassionally few groups walked aside me and roared,'Jai Mata Di'. They danced as if hallucinated. I danced as if I existed no more. It wasn't me dancing, it was the silence within me, dancing.
I reached the Vaishnodevi temple by the morning and was able to attend the morning 'pooja'. I stood in the long queue asking myself, 'why did I come here?'. I had no sleep the whole night just to visit a temple. I knew one thing, at the begining of my journey, I had one doubt in my mind,'why am I so sad these days?'. By the time, I reached atop and attened the morning prayer, I had no idea about why me doing all this. But when I started my way back to foothill. I realized, I was sad because I missed the silence within. I was missing the breath-taking hardwork. My purpose was solved. I got embraced by the Goddess. I was no more alone and sad. I was enlightened.
It was not the rejuvenating tea but a refreshing rest that made me feel to go further and conquer this rise. After few more steps, I didn't see much interesting thing ahead. Just fog. Moving fog. As it moved, I thought, I dreamed. One bridge appeared between the clouds as if it never bridged with any material on this earth. No dreams. It was there and yes, it became another motivating factor to walk me faster towards it. I sprinted many steps in one, trying to reach the bridge with alacrity. Finally I reached and was disappointed to find that I indeed stood amid the dense fog but it wasn't dense enough to hide the materialistic bridge that actually bridged with earth. It no more looked divine. It became just another mile-stone in reaching atop.
Rising above, along the cliff, it grew more humid and fog seemed too pregnent to rain. And I actually saw them dripping at distance and before I could think anything more, it rained right over my head as well. I got fully drenched and shiver ran through my veins. But it didn't trouble me a bit. I just move ahead. There was no force within me to make me move towards the goal. There was no thoughts, no desire, anything what-so-ever that I could attribute my movement to. I was walking in silence. And that silence was the one I longed for so long. The night was absolutely chilling and I didn't don anything that wasn't wet. But somehow it didn't bother me. I realized absolute silence is the power. It is the power that buddha had. In my absoluteness, I could witness my own feelings, my own body, my own self as though I wasn't one with them. I saw them as seperate entities from myself. Lights were gone due to heavy rain in recent moments and I had no clue where would I go except for the fact that occassionally few groups walked aside me and roared,'Jai Mata Di'. They danced as if hallucinated. I danced as if I existed no more. It wasn't me dancing, it was the silence within me, dancing.
I reached the Vaishnodevi temple by the morning and was able to attend the morning 'pooja'. I stood in the long queue asking myself, 'why did I come here?'. I had no sleep the whole night just to visit a temple. I knew one thing, at the begining of my journey, I had one doubt in my mind,'why am I so sad these days?'. By the time, I reached atop and attened the morning prayer, I had no idea about why me doing all this. But when I started my way back to foothill. I realized, I was sad because I missed the silence within. I was missing the breath-taking hardwork. My purpose was solved. I got embraced by the Goddess. I was no more alone and sad. I was enlightened.
Cinquant Otage
It was possible to catch the tram but we missed it intentionally. Probably I wanted to live in that transience few more moments. Even more, I wanted to witness the beauty in the ever-changing ambience of Nantes. Though it was possible to walk down till the destination and we occassionally did that but it was equalling charming to be in the tram that nonetheless looked like magnified toy train in cartoons. There was no place devoid of greenary. But certain points in the way looked so amazing that no words do fit in impeccably to describe it. Tram passed along auxillary rivulet of La Loire river, which was not-so-different from backwaters of Kerala. Some steamers, small ships were tugged to the bank, I wondered when they actually ran. Few leaves dripped in the river and floated till they rottened and vanquished. Few bambo like leaves hung from the shoots and remained green till they actually fell to their utmost desire. Other side was bridged with the main road that carried scarce traffic unto it. The river bank was so well maintained to loosen it's pristinity.
By the time the tram line diverted from the river bank, I always saw one pillar with something scribbled on it in french. I never desired to read them but it overall engendered my inquisition always, almost always. The tram station read,'Cinquant Otage'. I knew bit of french to understand that something is fifty, but then again it remain no longer in my memory to seek any further meaning from it.
Two french friends of us invited us for the party. One more joined us and we five went to eat something typically french. French are generally staunch, bit orthodox beings. They are quite proud of there culture, well thats good, but they are generally not-so-open to any thing else. They offered us some alcohol imbibed in apple juice. I rarely had any drink that tasted sweet and so sweet that it almost obviated the feeling of having alcohol. That was speciality of france. I don't remember the name but it tasted bit higher than the best wine I had. They wondered, India din't belive in alcohol. Our culture has not produced anything specific in liquor but just to name few, I recited, Sula and Fenny. Though they suffered anonymity but than again there was nothing I could say more on.
While we returned, we witnessed the same pillar 'cinquant otage'. I asked them, 'what does it mean?'. They looked into each others eyes with their eye-brows risen. One of them answered that during second world war, Germany kept fifty civilian hostages from that area. Whenever french army killed a single soldier, germans killed one hostage in retaliation. Cinquant Otage indeed meant fifty hostages. I couldn't believe, it had such grave reality behind it. For the time being, I felt, I revisited the cruel and inhuman Nazi manuvers. I wondered two neighbouring countries of europe, france and germany. France that engendered human rights. Germany that worked all possible ways to inhuman treatment. Though two sides of coin exist but do they live so close and be disparate.
By the time the tram line diverted from the river bank, I always saw one pillar with something scribbled on it in french. I never desired to read them but it overall engendered my inquisition always, almost always. The tram station read,'Cinquant Otage'. I knew bit of french to understand that something is fifty, but then again it remain no longer in my memory to seek any further meaning from it.
Two french friends of us invited us for the party. One more joined us and we five went to eat something typically french. French are generally staunch, bit orthodox beings. They are quite proud of there culture, well thats good, but they are generally not-so-open to any thing else. They offered us some alcohol imbibed in apple juice. I rarely had any drink that tasted sweet and so sweet that it almost obviated the feeling of having alcohol. That was speciality of france. I don't remember the name but it tasted bit higher than the best wine I had. They wondered, India din't belive in alcohol. Our culture has not produced anything specific in liquor but just to name few, I recited, Sula and Fenny. Though they suffered anonymity but than again there was nothing I could say more on.
While we returned, we witnessed the same pillar 'cinquant otage'. I asked them, 'what does it mean?'. They looked into each others eyes with their eye-brows risen. One of them answered that during second world war, Germany kept fifty civilian hostages from that area. Whenever french army killed a single soldier, germans killed one hostage in retaliation. Cinquant Otage indeed meant fifty hostages. I couldn't believe, it had such grave reality behind it. For the time being, I felt, I revisited the cruel and inhuman Nazi manuvers. I wondered two neighbouring countries of europe, france and germany. France that engendered human rights. Germany that worked all possible ways to inhuman treatment. Though two sides of coin exist but do they live so close and be disparate.
Almighty Zero.
The story of material abstination ensues from two roots, one 'the scarcity' other 'the surplus'. Material abstination is basically a methodology to resuscitate the defunct importance of surplus materials in life. It as well is an excuse for incapacity to have 'em. He did sex as many times as he wished and now believes in moving to a jungle where he doesn't find any woman. The other moment, he is in a jungle and now he begins to think of woman, the pleasure and thousand & one things, he enjoyed. Its a kind of oscillation. Men keep oscillating from one end to other, like a pendulum. While going in one direction, they gain energy to return to exactly the opposite one. While moving towards jungle, he gains energy to come back to material life. While retour to material life, he gains energy to go back to jungle.
Krishna taught a very important concept of 'asthit-pragnya' i.e. 'the one unaffected by the world'. He describes 'Karma' (work) as top priority in life. He further adds, only asthit-prgnya can do this job impeccably. Its true because a non-asthit-pragnya always keeps oscillating from one end to other. He never settles to a point where he could engross in the karma. Is it contradicting? The person is refrained from either enjoying the material pleasure as well as avoiding them. There is a state of being exactly in middle of the pendulum where energy of going in either directions is zero. The person is not inclined towards any end. He just sticks in the middle, the zero.
The zero is almighty. It is pregnant with lot of potentials but indeed zero. Zero is contagious that it can acccomodate the whole world and turn it to zero. Zero is introspective that it can divide small things to infinite ones. Zero is quite difficult to imagine because it is something that 'exists not'. A person thinking, thinks something. But a person in zero doesn't think anything at all. And its difficult to not think anything at all because even though you are not thinking anything, you might be thinking that 'you are not thinking anything' and believe that you are actually at zero but you are not. Sufis have unique method to reach the trans state where you stop thinking and become almightly, the zero. Sufi whorling of body makes them be thoughtless. Jabbers gibberish speaking out makes them thoughtless. But modern world has resorted to thousand and one easy ways to reaching the trans. List begins with alcohol,... drugs.. cocaine. You have it and you reach zero.. the thoughtless. the almighty.
Next step of thoughtless ness is awareness which is missing in modern instruments like drugz and alcohol. Thoughtlessness puts off the brain but puts on another very powerful state of being which is awareness. A person in thoughtlessness becomes aware of even a subtlest motion in his body and his sorrounding. Whereas an alcoholist doesn't rekindle that awareness within. The sthitpragnya lives in awareness and thoughtlessness. He lives in zero and doesn't oscillate between two extremes. For him, extremes exist not.
Krishna taught a very important concept of 'asthit-pragnya' i.e. 'the one unaffected by the world'. He describes 'Karma' (work) as top priority in life. He further adds, only asthit-prgnya can do this job impeccably. Its true because a non-asthit-pragnya always keeps oscillating from one end to other. He never settles to a point where he could engross in the karma. Is it contradicting? The person is refrained from either enjoying the material pleasure as well as avoiding them. There is a state of being exactly in middle of the pendulum where energy of going in either directions is zero. The person is not inclined towards any end. He just sticks in the middle, the zero.
The zero is almighty. It is pregnant with lot of potentials but indeed zero. Zero is contagious that it can acccomodate the whole world and turn it to zero. Zero is introspective that it can divide small things to infinite ones. Zero is quite difficult to imagine because it is something that 'exists not'. A person thinking, thinks something. But a person in zero doesn't think anything at all. And its difficult to not think anything at all because even though you are not thinking anything, you might be thinking that 'you are not thinking anything' and believe that you are actually at zero but you are not. Sufis have unique method to reach the trans state where you stop thinking and become almightly, the zero. Sufi whorling of body makes them be thoughtless. Jabbers gibberish speaking out makes them thoughtless. But modern world has resorted to thousand and one easy ways to reaching the trans. List begins with alcohol,... drugs.. cocaine. You have it and you reach zero.. the thoughtless. the almighty.
Next step of thoughtless ness is awareness which is missing in modern instruments like drugz and alcohol. Thoughtlessness puts off the brain but puts on another very powerful state of being which is awareness. A person in thoughtlessness becomes aware of even a subtlest motion in his body and his sorrounding. Whereas an alcoholist doesn't rekindle that awareness within. The sthitpragnya lives in awareness and thoughtlessness. He lives in zero and doesn't oscillate between two extremes. For him, extremes exist not.
Noise ... To Silence.
It was too noisy to hear the waiter. He blurted out entire menu and not a single item was discernible except few partial known dishes like Makhani, Do-pyaza etc. etc. I proposed him to give the menu card instead. After little discussion with my friends, I ordered few edibles and some palatables. The music was so loud that it was difficult to hear anything else but to glance each other face and neck ticking with rhythm. The lightening was synchronised with music so it felt as though it was not any seperate entity from it. Bar was not very crowded and that was it, we liked a lot. In order to produce effect of a crowd, it had a big TV and mirrors in almost all directions.
We were not talking. We couldn't be connected. Few things we shared was food, beer and music. Sudden feeling of individualism started with this isolation. For this moment, I was with myself. There was no pain, no regret in my heart that caused this isolation. There was nothing negative in that isolation. It was positive isolation, the positive feeling of my own self. A wise man said,'Either you are connected with the whole world or you are connected with your own self'. Thats quite true, when you are not connected with whole world by thinking, talking, chatting,playing and thousand other things, you are actually connected with your self. The effect is quite opposite, connection with the whole world saps you of energy whereas connection with own-self makes us more energised. Mind it, its 'energised' and not 'energetic'. Both are different. Energised is potential and energetic is 'manifestation'. Energised is like match-stick fully potent to burn the whole world. Isolation has been linked with negative in east and it has been negatively practiced in west. Isolation in east, makes people think the other guy is selfish, unsocial which is sin in east. Because right from their birth a child is made devoid of his individualism. He is taught to think of others first then himself. He is taught to be like others and his individualism is made to forsake him.
Individualism in west has been quite pronounced with negative upshots. It has resulted in many maniacal activities by the people. The essence is, In both the worlds, it has been dealt wrongly. Isolation is pre-requisite for the meditative silence. It does begin with noise and ends in silence. The paradox lies in the fact that connection with the world creates noise and connection with self creates silence. To start to experience this, Pubs and bars are the best place. Hence the journey begins from ... noise to silence.....
We were not talking. We couldn't be connected. Few things we shared was food, beer and music. Sudden feeling of individualism started with this isolation. For this moment, I was with myself. There was no pain, no regret in my heart that caused this isolation. There was nothing negative in that isolation. It was positive isolation, the positive feeling of my own self. A wise man said,'Either you are connected with the whole world or you are connected with your own self'. Thats quite true, when you are not connected with whole world by thinking, talking, chatting,playing and thousand other things, you are actually connected with your self. The effect is quite opposite, connection with the whole world saps you of energy whereas connection with own-self makes us more energised. Mind it, its 'energised' and not 'energetic'. Both are different. Energised is potential and energetic is 'manifestation'. Energised is like match-stick fully potent to burn the whole world. Isolation has been linked with negative in east and it has been negatively practiced in west. Isolation in east, makes people think the other guy is selfish, unsocial which is sin in east. Because right from their birth a child is made devoid of his individualism. He is taught to think of others first then himself. He is taught to be like others and his individualism is made to forsake him.
Individualism in west has been quite pronounced with negative upshots. It has resulted in many maniacal activities by the people. The essence is, In both the worlds, it has been dealt wrongly. Isolation is pre-requisite for the meditative silence. It does begin with noise and ends in silence. The paradox lies in the fact that connection with the world creates noise and connection with self creates silence. To start to experience this, Pubs and bars are the best place. Hence the journey begins from ... noise to silence.....
Right and Wrong
Parents impress their own boundaries unto their children. They want their children to be like themselves. Teachers are yet another creatures devoid of intellect and adamant boundaries. Ever imagine asking a school teacher about warped time-space. He is master of very small subset of knowledge. Owing to his adamant belief in the knowledge he has, he remain no more flexible. He has lost the quality of exploration. But alas ! He is helpless, without being adamant he cannot teach with confidence. He wants clarity of subject. So he has to be certain that whether something happens or not. Whether something is correct or incorrect, nothing in between. He is not intellectual. Intellect is about flexibility, it is about fuzziness, for intellectuals nothing is incorrect or correct. Intellectuals live in fuzziness. For them nothing is wrong or right. Intellectual are fearless. It is job of non-intellectuals to cling to one side of shore. Intellectuals face the current right in the middle of river. They are fearless.
Priests, Politicians, Teachers and Parents are the basic entities of society who corrupt the natural growth of person, make him fearful and put adamant boundaries arround him. Ever seen, the guy who clings most to his parents is bound to be less flexible, more irritable and rarely adaptable to new situations. Similiarly, the person who listens too much to priests becomes too adamant, too fearful and less enterprising. The person who becomes yes-man to teachers has lost his intellect at very early age. Such people live in boundaries. They are limited who follow the teacher. Similiarly, role of teacher, priest and politician is combined in single role of parents, in the institution called family. The guy is taught to follow this and not that. He is taught what is wrong and what is right. He is impressed right from their beginning the political inclination of their parents. Very few people come out of those mental images that are formed during their childhood by their parents about the perception of various events around them.
These four entities Parents, Priest, Politician and Teachers cause the mental conditioning of a person. They decide what is right or wrong. A person is got to forget these four entities before manifesting his own self. Otherwise, He will end up with some or the other impression of these people created already in him. The road to enlightenment begins with leaving them aside and seeking answers to questions from their own selves as if been a new born baby in the world. Its so simple, its just forgetting and discovering. Nothing more.
Priests, Politicians, Teachers and Parents are the basic entities of society who corrupt the natural growth of person, make him fearful and put adamant boundaries arround him. Ever seen, the guy who clings most to his parents is bound to be less flexible, more irritable and rarely adaptable to new situations. Similiarly, the person who listens too much to priests becomes too adamant, too fearful and less enterprising. The person who becomes yes-man to teachers has lost his intellect at very early age. Such people live in boundaries. They are limited who follow the teacher. Similiarly, role of teacher, priest and politician is combined in single role of parents, in the institution called family. The guy is taught to follow this and not that. He is taught what is wrong and what is right. He is impressed right from their beginning the political inclination of their parents. Very few people come out of those mental images that are formed during their childhood by their parents about the perception of various events around them.
These four entities Parents, Priest, Politician and Teachers cause the mental conditioning of a person. They decide what is right or wrong. A person is got to forget these four entities before manifesting his own self. Otherwise, He will end up with some or the other impression of these people created already in him. The road to enlightenment begins with leaving them aside and seeking answers to questions from their own selves as if been a new born baby in the world. Its so simple, its just forgetting and discovering. Nothing more.
Rosera
Once a rose was born.
We christioned it Rosera.
Like other roses, Rosera always looked above.
Like other roses, Rosera was shy.
Unlike other roses, Rosera always asked questions to birds fluttering around it.
Unlike other accustomed roses, Rosera wanted to fly like birds.
Once a sparrow came hovering Rosera.
She gathered all her confidence and asked him, "I wannna fly like you do?"
Sparrow, petty sparrow snickered, "You gotta have feathers like me... see this.."
She replied, "I have these beaux petals and god forbid, its much beautiful than yours."
Sparrow meticulously answered her, "See... apart from that you need some wings that can lift you in air... Huuuh !! its diffficult and tiresome... "
She replied, "Oh !! Then ... yeah see . . here.. my two lower petals... slightly rotten .. but I think... they will make be lift in air".
Sparrow gave presumptous smile and went away.
Now every time, any sparrow reached near Rosera. She tried hard to move her petals and fly but alas !! No results.
She remained so busy trying to fly that she forgot taking food from stem.
She became dull and dirty without food. But she didn't lose her conviction to fly.
One night, in the utter darkness, She was almost about to die and god knows what energy made her always try to fly. There was storm in the area.. It seemed god wanted to assist this Rose... With slight effort, Rosera broke off the stem and went along the storm....
She saw sparrows flying along her..
She saw pigeons flying with her and awing at her capability.... They even felt complex for she being so beautiful..
By the morning Storm abate and Rosera fallen on one beautiful beach of an island.
She breathed high... As though extracting all the energy she was sapped of while her efforts in past months.
For the first time, Rosera felt boundless and her own self.
She met thousand and one creatures ever since she broke off the stem..
She tried again to fly.. and with even slight air drift she was able to fly and reach out to places.....
She no more felt constricted ... and confined..
She felt .. She is infinite... and Indeed She was....
We christioned it Rosera.
Like other roses, Rosera always looked above.
Like other roses, Rosera was shy.
Unlike other roses, Rosera always asked questions to birds fluttering around it.
Unlike other accustomed roses, Rosera wanted to fly like birds.
Once a sparrow came hovering Rosera.
She gathered all her confidence and asked him, "I wannna fly like you do?"
Sparrow, petty sparrow snickered, "You gotta have feathers like me... see this.."
She replied, "I have these beaux petals and god forbid, its much beautiful than yours."
Sparrow meticulously answered her, "See... apart from that you need some wings that can lift you in air... Huuuh !! its diffficult and tiresome... "
She replied, "Oh !! Then ... yeah see . . here.. my two lower petals... slightly rotten .. but I think... they will make be lift in air".
Sparrow gave presumptous smile and went away.
Now every time, any sparrow reached near Rosera. She tried hard to move her petals and fly but alas !! No results.
She remained so busy trying to fly that she forgot taking food from stem.
She became dull and dirty without food. But she didn't lose her conviction to fly.
One night, in the utter darkness, She was almost about to die and god knows what energy made her always try to fly. There was storm in the area.. It seemed god wanted to assist this Rose... With slight effort, Rosera broke off the stem and went along the storm....
She saw sparrows flying along her..
She saw pigeons flying with her and awing at her capability.... They even felt complex for she being so beautiful..
By the morning Storm abate and Rosera fallen on one beautiful beach of an island.
She breathed high... As though extracting all the energy she was sapped of while her efforts in past months.
For the first time, Rosera felt boundless and her own self.
She met thousand and one creatures ever since she broke off the stem..
She tried again to fly.. and with even slight air drift she was able to fly and reach out to places.....
She no more felt constricted ... and confined..
She felt .. She is infinite... and Indeed She was....
Raam
Non-conformance to mediocrity. Sunrays lulled by shroud of trees. Squiral rubs his nasals while looking up, to the sky. Grass blades soggy with tropical rain few hours ago. Infrequent quack of ducks break the subtle humdrum of the jungle. The liberal roots of the tree sagged into the pond and its image looked as though another tree grew from bed of the pond. Ponds generally overflew that the steps near its bank were never visible. But they were visible and were used once upon a time. The king of a small region, very brave, intelligent, philanthropic and so much un-earthly that his name akins god. He berefts his wife when she was pregnant because she spend years in the custody of a criminal, she was trapped and kidnapped. Now she was bereft and forlorn. Better was she earlier !!
The king no matter how philanthropic couldn't forgive his own wife. He couldn't imagine his wife being intimate, though coercively with another guy. The king no matter how divine, was so mediocre. He lived in mediocrity and divinity at the same time. No one discusses his death but I want to do that today. He lived a normal life after his wife. When he aged to a point where he felt, he is no more useful in this world. He goes to a jungle. He comes close to a pond with steps for its entrance. He bemuses, what he did his whole and what way has he affected the life of others. He witnesses the tree liberal roots are touching the pond. He witnesses the tree was upright. Looking unto the heaven. Looking unto the divinity of welkin. But it shrouded the sunrays. The sunrays, which were much more pious than the shroud it enshrouded. It captivated the pious rain.
That tree represented his own life. His rules, his followings, his philosophies enshrouded the humanity with some cozy and bounded shade. His philosophies cut off the growth and evolution in others. The liberal roots of the tree touched the pond, the muddy, insanitary water. His own life, he might have been very divine and philanthropic. But he berefted his own wife. His mediocrity lies there. His muddy and insanitary touch beckoned him to get dissolved in that pond and his legs effortlessly moved towards the center of the pond. Step by step, he bemused as though a drug addict gets toward something non-exisiting, shunya. He went on and got submerged in the water. For him, he attained solace. Without a pinch of pain. He dissolved in the water.
The king no matter how philanthropic couldn't forgive his own wife. He couldn't imagine his wife being intimate, though coercively with another guy. The king no matter how divine, was so mediocre. He lived in mediocrity and divinity at the same time. No one discusses his death but I want to do that today. He lived a normal life after his wife. When he aged to a point where he felt, he is no more useful in this world. He goes to a jungle. He comes close to a pond with steps for its entrance. He bemuses, what he did his whole and what way has he affected the life of others. He witnesses the tree liberal roots are touching the pond. He witnesses the tree was upright. Looking unto the heaven. Looking unto the divinity of welkin. But it shrouded the sunrays. The sunrays, which were much more pious than the shroud it enshrouded. It captivated the pious rain.
That tree represented his own life. His rules, his followings, his philosophies enshrouded the humanity with some cozy and bounded shade. His philosophies cut off the growth and evolution in others. The liberal roots of the tree touched the pond, the muddy, insanitary water. His own life, he might have been very divine and philanthropic. But he berefted his own wife. His mediocrity lies there. His muddy and insanitary touch beckoned him to get dissolved in that pond and his legs effortlessly moved towards the center of the pond. Step by step, he bemused as though a drug addict gets toward something non-exisiting, shunya. He went on and got submerged in the water. For him, he attained solace. Without a pinch of pain. He dissolved in the water.
Spirit and Spirituality
Sand began to appear hither-tither in alleys even before beach started. Few bikini worn white girls smudged with showy goan ladies. Beach was sun-scorched and sand flushed hot. No sooner we saw the Sea, our clothes stripped us and we were amid playing waves. Its quite long since we saw back towards the land, towards the beach. The horizon seemed so rational that I thought I would have born aquatic. While I dipped inside and tasted salt through my nose and ears, I drifted away from others. More I drifted towards myself while I was stray from others. I turned back and surprised to see one muslim family, one short heighted moslem and three ladies in Burkha. I felt what these guys are doing out here? They must be feeling out-of-place or rather feeling stripped of their culture. As expected they didn't last more than few minute on the beach.
From distance, one of my friend beckoned to come and have vodka. I loved that. I gulped entire peg very fast and went back playing with waves.I was feeling restful and in sync with environ owing to vodka. On the contrary, cold and playee waves made me feel distant of itself. This was the moment of great paradox. I was empty and full at the same time. I was alone and with-others at the same time. It was just like, an empty cup has full potential to be filled. So a cup is empty and full at the same time. A room empty is actually room full. A person without knowledge is the most knowledgeable person indeed. The state of fullness and emptiness can best be attained by having consecutive pegs of vodka followed by few splashes with sea-waves.
If divinity of woman-hood is encorporated in the experience of beach and vodka, the mixture as potent as cynide. The creamy skin of her belly, shines with the humdrum sunlight and strikes back in your mind, like a flash. It seems as though you look at something, which is really meant to seen and admired. For the time being you may feel why the they wear clothes. All the emptiness and fullness attained, gets a recluse, a vent through which creativity pours out. She looks divine. The common experience is that all the girls look divine in that stage. This is even higher spirituality, girlish is divine. Not the girl. Not the girl. It her being girl which is divine, not she. The spirit has a lot potential to make someone spiritual. It makes feel everything divine for a person.
From distance, one of my friend beckoned to come and have vodka. I loved that. I gulped entire peg very fast and went back playing with waves.I was feeling restful and in sync with environ owing to vodka. On the contrary, cold and playee waves made me feel distant of itself. This was the moment of great paradox. I was empty and full at the same time. I was alone and with-others at the same time. It was just like, an empty cup has full potential to be filled. So a cup is empty and full at the same time. A room empty is actually room full. A person without knowledge is the most knowledgeable person indeed. The state of fullness and emptiness can best be attained by having consecutive pegs of vodka followed by few splashes with sea-waves.
If divinity of woman-hood is encorporated in the experience of beach and vodka, the mixture as potent as cynide. The creamy skin of her belly, shines with the humdrum sunlight and strikes back in your mind, like a flash. It seems as though you look at something, which is really meant to seen and admired. For the time being you may feel why the they wear clothes. All the emptiness and fullness attained, gets a recluse, a vent through which creativity pours out. She looks divine. The common experience is that all the girls look divine in that stage. This is even higher spirituality, girlish is divine. Not the girl. Not the girl. It her being girl which is divine, not she. The spirit has a lot potential to make someone spiritual. It makes feel everything divine for a person.
O Friend, Like Me.
O Friend Like Me
O Friend like me, my inseperable companion,
Let me again be called, best kisser of yours,
come and see me,
'cuz they sight, plights me to nothing,
I don't know, who I am,
whom I belong to.
Thy eyes embue, sense of unbelongness in me,
They ensue ecstatic silence within,
Your innocent chin makes me sigh,
Gosh! Could you be so small to fit in my heart,
The faithless faith, as the drunkard's truth,
It surmounts every bit and all the rules,
Alas! you ain't here,
And I don't feel your presence,
'cuz when I see you again,
I shalt fill my self with you, with all the nuance,
I don't know, if its love or not,
But whatever be it, its above all the touts,
No cravings just the silence, thou impart,
O Friend, like me, be with me, just don't compart.
-Durgesh,
24/3/2007, 12:00 PM
O Friend like me, my inseperable companion,
Let me again be called, best kisser of yours,
come and see me,
'cuz they sight, plights me to nothing,
I don't know, who I am,
whom I belong to.
Thy eyes embue, sense of unbelongness in me,
They ensue ecstatic silence within,
Your innocent chin makes me sigh,
Gosh! Could you be so small to fit in my heart,
The faithless faith, as the drunkard's truth,
It surmounts every bit and all the rules,
Alas! you ain't here,
And I don't feel your presence,
'cuz when I see you again,
I shalt fill my self with you, with all the nuance,
I don't know, if its love or not,
But whatever be it, its above all the touts,
No cravings just the silence, thou impart,
O Friend, like me, be with me, just don't compart.
-Durgesh,
24/3/2007, 12:00 PM
Welkinophilic
http://picasaweb.google.com/durgesh.mishra/Welkinophilic/photo#5099695096150408962
http://picasaweb.google.com/durgesh.mishra/Welkinophilic/photo#5099695177754787602
http://picasaweb.google.com/durgesh.mishra/Welkinophilic/photo#5099695186344722210
People have thousand and one kind of passions. For me, Sky is everything. Its the shear love for inifnity that makes me snap these beautiful pictures, I feel divine. It is taken from top of my house in Gurgaon, India. Hope you like it !!
About the title --- Welkinophilic -- I coined it for Sky Lovers. (Welkin means Sky, Global Vault, the Divine Arch) + Philic - Loving...
http://picasaweb.google.com/durgesh.mishra/Welkinophilic/photo#5099695177754787602
http://picasaweb.google.com/durgesh.mishra/Welkinophilic/photo#5099695186344722210
People have thousand and one kind of passions. For me, Sky is everything. Its the shear love for inifnity that makes me snap these beautiful pictures, I feel divine. It is taken from top of my house in Gurgaon, India. Hope you like it !!
About the title --- Welkinophilic -- I coined it for Sky Lovers. (Welkin means Sky, Global Vault, the Divine Arch) + Philic - Loving...
Artificial City.
India-shining is undoubtedly the 'Tree' whose seeds were sown almost a decade ago. The BPO revolution caused by opening India's market to foreign investment and successive disinvestment spree of govt owned corporations has lead to asymmetrical growth of indian economy. There should be no reason why Indian govt feel contented for the current economic growth because what they kept doing was not far-sighted prudent decisions but the no-other-option-way or common-sense approach of handling things. Opening up the market in 1991 was not owing to far-sighted expertise of indian govt, rather it has been tremendous pressure from WTO and USA. Indian textile export to developed market was on the verge of getting shut, so the only-option-left was to open up the market.
It coincidently happened that IT revolution boomed in world arena and india proved to be the cost-effective destination for IT companies. This resulted in outsourcing back-end business processes to India. Not many cities had good-enough infrastructure, so IT companies basically mushroomed around four metros. Later on, Special economic zone policies were promoted by central and state governments. This resulted in forming new cities.. the artificial cities... The reason why I call them artificial is.. Such cities do not possess proper population density in it. Such cities have many high-earning professionals and many ultra-low class people who cater to doing menial tasks. These cities miss the middle class crowd which is very essential for economic sustenance of any place. Due to high percentage of high-earning professionals (henceforth called high class), such places become costly for no reasons. In general, a natural city, like mumbai, kolkata, delhi etc has small percentage of high class, small percentage of low class and very high percentage of middle class. Owing to this, living cost at such places doesn't shoot up generally.
Crime rate at artificial cities are generally high as compared to natural cities. This is owing to inherent human nature of jealousy and frustration. In artifical city, a very low class individual from local village always witnesses very high class people and feels wreteched and frustrated. If he happens to be juvenile youth, no other reason he seeks to commit crime. Economic asymmetry at artificial cities are mainly cause of extra-inflation, and high-crime rate prevailing at such places.
It coincidently happened that IT revolution boomed in world arena and india proved to be the cost-effective destination for IT companies. This resulted in outsourcing back-end business processes to India. Not many cities had good-enough infrastructure, so IT companies basically mushroomed around four metros. Later on, Special economic zone policies were promoted by central and state governments. This resulted in forming new cities.. the artificial cities... The reason why I call them artificial is.. Such cities do not possess proper population density in it. Such cities have many high-earning professionals and many ultra-low class people who cater to doing menial tasks. These cities miss the middle class crowd which is very essential for economic sustenance of any place. Due to high percentage of high-earning professionals (henceforth called high class), such places become costly for no reasons. In general, a natural city, like mumbai, kolkata, delhi etc has small percentage of high class, small percentage of low class and very high percentage of middle class. Owing to this, living cost at such places doesn't shoot up generally.
Crime rate at artificial cities are generally high as compared to natural cities. This is owing to inherent human nature of jealousy and frustration. In artifical city, a very low class individual from local village always witnesses very high class people and feels wreteched and frustrated. If he happens to be juvenile youth, no other reason he seeks to commit crime. Economic asymmetry at artificial cities are mainly cause of extra-inflation, and high-crime rate prevailing at such places.
He jumped out of his bed. 'Yes, revolution. Thats what I want bring in.. in this wretched country',He exclaimed. He got quite a few like-minded kins along. They hailed with basic psyche who get more than satisfaction by thinking that 'YES' they are bringing in the change.. The change in society.. The change in country... Making the difference. And when it comes to hard-core communist ideas, you will find many supporters. But the path is gory and frustrating. One got to deny the present government and authorities. One got to form a parallel government that's illegal, de jure. One has to live in utter penury and while not forgetting that Karl Marx died in similiar wretchedness.
He was infected with similiar ideas. One night he got up. Clock was ticking 2 O'clock. He had slept a lot. He got up and came out of his room. His room was on the top floor with broad terrace next to it. He walked till the edge of terrace and looked down as though in intention to commit suicide. But No! Something else was on his mind. He looked around all the houses visible from the terrace. They all slept. They all slept with utter indifference. They slept as if this system is not-as-much suffocating to them, as it is to me. He thought, 'Am I struggling for these ignorants'. 'Probably, I am meant to awaken them'.'Probably the new system would bring in rather sound sleep to them, as they are in right now'.'Probably, this night, this sleeping night, is begining of a change'. He goes back to sleep, in sync with everyone all around.
..... After 10 years.....
He has grown bit old. His youth has diminished. He has just married and enjoying his marital life. Its again 2 O'clock in the night. His wife is in deep sleep facing away from him. He looks at her. She is beautiful and young. He has got beginning wrinkles on his throat. When clean shaven, it gets even prominent, making him older than actual age. He carefully perches his neck on the pillow, made vertical. He thinks,'Probably, world is too big to change. He was alone after all. But nonetheless, my-would-be-child, right now ensconsed in her womb, will carry forward the fire in my belly.''Afterall it takes generations to bring in such massive changes'.
.....After 20 years.......
His hairs have grown gray. His beard now permanently unshaven, reminds one of Marx, again. His ideas have not changed any thing per se. Everyone around, visible from the terrace, are still asleep with utter indifference. His own child has got engulfed by materialistic charms. He and his wife occassionally see each other eyes. His wife never understood him. She never got what this man is looking for. She never knew what it means to bring in change.
Now He has grown bored of thinking. He has understood that, it may not be possible to change the world.
Probably, he has changed himself.
He was infected with similiar ideas. One night he got up. Clock was ticking 2 O'clock. He had slept a lot. He got up and came out of his room. His room was on the top floor with broad terrace next to it. He walked till the edge of terrace and looked down as though in intention to commit suicide. But No! Something else was on his mind. He looked around all the houses visible from the terrace. They all slept. They all slept with utter indifference. They slept as if this system is not-as-much suffocating to them, as it is to me. He thought, 'Am I struggling for these ignorants'. 'Probably, I am meant to awaken them'.'Probably the new system would bring in rather sound sleep to them, as they are in right now'.'Probably, this night, this sleeping night, is begining of a change'. He goes back to sleep, in sync with everyone all around.
..... After 10 years.....
He has grown bit old. His youth has diminished. He has just married and enjoying his marital life. Its again 2 O'clock in the night. His wife is in deep sleep facing away from him. He looks at her. She is beautiful and young. He has got beginning wrinkles on his throat. When clean shaven, it gets even prominent, making him older than actual age. He carefully perches his neck on the pillow, made vertical. He thinks,'Probably, world is too big to change. He was alone after all. But nonetheless, my-would-be-child, right now ensconsed in her womb, will carry forward the fire in my belly.''Afterall it takes generations to bring in such massive changes'.
.....After 20 years.......
His hairs have grown gray. His beard now permanently unshaven, reminds one of Marx, again. His ideas have not changed any thing per se. Everyone around, visible from the terrace, are still asleep with utter indifference. His own child has got engulfed by materialistic charms. He and his wife occassionally see each other eyes. His wife never understood him. She never got what this man is looking for. She never knew what it means to bring in change.
Now He has grown bored of thinking. He has understood that, it may not be possible to change the world.
Probably, he has changed himself.
Love
Love
Beautiful is she, the goddess of beauty,
sun gets ablazed, the moon finds purity,
O Lord, the love blooms amid the nature,
as the flowers born and pollen loose gravity,
Timeless, It feels with her mere presence,
divinity nonetheless is its essence,
Not so close this moon happpens to be,
But my moon is always close to me,
Your eyes are lillies twinkling in dark,
many lives smile with your single blink,
grace is your asset, beauty is thy soul,
your innoncence that of barbie doll,
fog wets your hair, sunbeams makes you red hot,
you aint here, neither me, nor no-one here not,
our souls meet, they chat, with language of there own,
which no one knows, and hitherto unknown,
love is their presence and absence of ours,
it binds our souls, rests remains for others,
all the means finish, all the ends end,
bliss is wallowing in your supernal extent.
Beautiful is she, the goddess of beauty,
sun gets ablazed, the moon finds purity,
O Lord, the love blooms amid the nature,
as the flowers born and pollen loose gravity,
Timeless, It feels with her mere presence,
divinity nonetheless is its essence,
Not so close this moon happpens to be,
But my moon is always close to me,
Your eyes are lillies twinkling in dark,
many lives smile with your single blink,
grace is your asset, beauty is thy soul,
your innoncence that of barbie doll,
fog wets your hair, sunbeams makes you red hot,
you aint here, neither me, nor no-one here not,
our souls meet, they chat, with language of there own,
which no one knows, and hitherto unknown,
love is their presence and absence of ours,
it binds our souls, rests remains for others,
all the means finish, all the ends end,
bliss is wallowing in your supernal extent.
Beauty
"I don't consider beauty as the criteria for choosing my wife", I told to my sister in law.She replied,"No matter what all the philosophers of the world say. But ff you get up in the morning with a beautiful face next to you, your day will be great."
There are many who think beauty is not the criteria for choosing once life partner. The arguments they use are, 'It's not about the beauty, but about the nature', 'Faith and fidelity is above beauty', 'Intelligence and smartness has nothing to do with beauty per se','There are many more dimensions in marital relationship than meagre appreciation of each others beauty'. There are such many innumerable arguments in favor of parameters other than beauty.
A wise saying goes 'Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder'. That means beauty is something personal. Each person has different perspective on beauty. Many people may differ on judging a person's beauty. In general, a person is called beautiful if majority agrees to it. But does that defy the opinion of other left-outs who don't conform to masses. Is it that they have subtle sense of beauty than masses don't acknowledge? Or is it that there sense of beauty is rustic or sub-standard that they don't even reach majority view? Whatever be it. It doesn't nonetheless nullifies their judgement. So beauty needs to be re-defined so that it conforms to all.
Still wiser saying goes ' Beauty lies in the eyes of beer-holder'. Nothing laughable in it. This statement has got essence, It beyonds contemporary views on the beauty. It transcends the judgement of beauty from mind to consciousness. An inebriated person never finds anything ugly. For him everyone is beautiful. Beauty is about witnessing. Beauty is not about judgement. If a person judges, he's a technician. He must take one measurement stick and measure all the parts of body and find out one formula that conforms to his sense of beauty. This is what they keep doing. This is what they keep calling beautiful. Utter wrong and uttterly mistaken.
A drunk person never judges, he simply witnesses. He's simply witness. He judges not. Jesus says,'Judge ye not'. All the technicalities of beauty disappears if judgement vanishes. If all are drunk then there won't be any conflict. Because for them everyone is beautiful. This is the state beyond mind and its judgements. This is the state of consciousness.
There are many who think beauty is not the criteria for choosing once life partner. The arguments they use are, 'It's not about the beauty, but about the nature', 'Faith and fidelity is above beauty', 'Intelligence and smartness has nothing to do with beauty per se','There are many more dimensions in marital relationship than meagre appreciation of each others beauty'. There are such many innumerable arguments in favor of parameters other than beauty.
A wise saying goes 'Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder'. That means beauty is something personal. Each person has different perspective on beauty. Many people may differ on judging a person's beauty. In general, a person is called beautiful if majority agrees to it. But does that defy the opinion of other left-outs who don't conform to masses. Is it that they have subtle sense of beauty than masses don't acknowledge? Or is it that there sense of beauty is rustic or sub-standard that they don't even reach majority view? Whatever be it. It doesn't nonetheless nullifies their judgement. So beauty needs to be re-defined so that it conforms to all.
Still wiser saying goes ' Beauty lies in the eyes of beer-holder'. Nothing laughable in it. This statement has got essence, It beyonds contemporary views on the beauty. It transcends the judgement of beauty from mind to consciousness. An inebriated person never finds anything ugly. For him everyone is beautiful. Beauty is about witnessing. Beauty is not about judgement. If a person judges, he's a technician. He must take one measurement stick and measure all the parts of body and find out one formula that conforms to his sense of beauty. This is what they keep doing. This is what they keep calling beautiful. Utter wrong and uttterly mistaken.
A drunk person never judges, he simply witnesses. He's simply witness. He judges not. Jesus says,'Judge ye not'. All the technicalities of beauty disappears if judgement vanishes. If all are drunk then there won't be any conflict. Because for them everyone is beautiful. This is the state beyond mind and its judgements. This is the state of consciousness.
Suicide Note.
I loved you so much but you left me as a pebble in the way. Now this remains the only recourse for my life. I wanted to melt in your arms but I think it is none of my destiny, so I will subdue in arms of death. O my beloved, I loved only you and nobody on this earth. You said, you will be back within one year but it is more than two years and you didn't come. Now my parents are onto my marriage. I cannot think of anybody else but you. I always prayed for you. I did fast once a week. I did goto temple daily. You are the only person who made his fortune in city rest all kept vegetating here in village. I always dreamed, I would be with you. I will go to big theatres and posh cinema halls. I wished, I would roam around in royal cars. I wished, my life will equate yours, If you be my all in all. I never dreamed Ramlal in next village to be my husband. What a rustic living will I get, If I marry him. My dreams will perish to nothingness, If I oblige to this marriage. Do you remembered, how we roamed on the bank of this river, near this temple and talked about our lives. We dreamed of such life in city. Now I cannot dream of living with some one in this utter village. I cannot live without those dreams. I cannot live without you. You are no more here. I wish you could be here. I wish you loved me as much I do.Yours-Any Girl on this earth.
That Was Easy
'That was easy !', blurted that machine.'What it is meant for',I asked my friend.'It is meant for creating fighting attitude when are just about to succumb to a problem',He replied.I snickered,'Is that an inferior substitute of inner voice'.He said,'Sort of'.
West is devoid of spirituality. No sooner they realized its importance, they commercialized it. They authored spiritual books akin Robin Sharma and Anthony Robins. It is shear ignorance to call such 'spiritual mistakes' as 'spiritual mystics'. Actually west has always imbued objectivity with subjectivity. It is there inherent nature to be objective. They cannot even meditate without objectivism. They won't do yoga, neither will they go to temple without objectivity. It is not their drawback but its their own nature. They substitute even the most fundamental pillar of spirituality with a fake machine which blurts out,'that was easy', as and when they press button. Western literature is full of objectivity. If they try to touch spirituality even a single bit, they will adulterate it with objectivity and make 'spiritual mistakes' of its own order. Once a wise man noticed there was a book in US named 'You Must Relax'. Look even the name creates tension, let alone what it will do after reading. Can there be relaxation with 'must' component in it. Relaxation occurs only when all the 'musts' and 'shoulds' has been put aside. Look at the idiocy of author.
On the other hand, east is not taught to be objective. Even if they become objective or object-centric they will fill some subjectivity in it. In hindi, there is word 'koora-daan' that means dust-bin in english. Now look at the meaning in both the languages. Language is a prima facie means of collective expression of a society. It precisely denotes what society in general thinks about an object. Like in east, a woman is termed 'Laxmi' (goddess of prosperity). It indeed reflects the collective perspective of society about woman. Now let's get back to the example of dust bin. 'koora' means crap and 'daan' means donate. Some object which is as petty as dust-bin as got subjectivity in it. It is not pure object. There is subject with it. There is donor with it. Such subjective objectivism is uniqueness of east and will always be missing in west.
West is devoid of spirituality. No sooner they realized its importance, they commercialized it. They authored spiritual books akin Robin Sharma and Anthony Robins. It is shear ignorance to call such 'spiritual mistakes' as 'spiritual mystics'. Actually west has always imbued objectivity with subjectivity. It is there inherent nature to be objective. They cannot even meditate without objectivism. They won't do yoga, neither will they go to temple without objectivity. It is not their drawback but its their own nature. They substitute even the most fundamental pillar of spirituality with a fake machine which blurts out,'that was easy', as and when they press button. Western literature is full of objectivity. If they try to touch spirituality even a single bit, they will adulterate it with objectivity and make 'spiritual mistakes' of its own order. Once a wise man noticed there was a book in US named 'You Must Relax'. Look even the name creates tension, let alone what it will do after reading. Can there be relaxation with 'must' component in it. Relaxation occurs only when all the 'musts' and 'shoulds' has been put aside. Look at the idiocy of author.
On the other hand, east is not taught to be objective. Even if they become objective or object-centric they will fill some subjectivity in it. In hindi, there is word 'koora-daan' that means dust-bin in english. Now look at the meaning in both the languages. Language is a prima facie means of collective expression of a society. It precisely denotes what society in general thinks about an object. Like in east, a woman is termed 'Laxmi' (goddess of prosperity). It indeed reflects the collective perspective of society about woman. Now let's get back to the example of dust bin. 'koora' means crap and 'daan' means donate. Some object which is as petty as dust-bin as got subjectivity in it. It is not pure object. There is subject with it. There is donor with it. Such subjective objectivism is uniqueness of east and will always be missing in west.
Self Realization
I asked one saint,'Why do you live in penury? How you survive the absense of even fundamental necessities?'He replied,'I meditate and when I meditate I don't feel need for anything else'.I asked again,'But there must be sometime when you need money, like when your these bare-minimum clothes are torn, you would need money, that moment you live on the grace of others, your intellectual or sprititual self doesn't count for even a single penny to fetch a small piece of cloth'He replied,'I live naked, If my clothes are torn''What if you feel hungry and you don't have food''I will remain hungry''What if winters are at peak and no one donates you warm clothes nor even a blanket''I will remain as it is''But you will die''No I won't'.'What makes you think so?''Its my conviction, Its my faith that makes me feel, I can survive even worse disaster than this'.'Faith in What ? Is it the faith in God?''Yes, Faith in God that is faith in my own self''Is it possible to fight all the disaster with the shield of faith?''Yes, it is possible indeed unless your faith, your conviction is unwavered'I thought for a while and asked ,'why does faith gets wavered'.He said,'because we have many schools of thought'.He continued,' We don't follow our originality, We follow originalities of thousand and one pathformers, we follow conviction of others'I asked,'Thats true, we do that. Albeit we do that not because we cannot follow our own self but because their convictions seems right from our perspective, If I validate their convictions, their faith, their ideologies, then does it not sound reasonable to follow them?'He closed his eyes and then replied,'You are born unique, no one's paradigm befit you in entirety'I got puzzled,'You mean I shouldn't follow no one but then what should I follow'He said,'Follow yourself, Be the light unto yourself, Don't follow the torch-bearer because torch-bearer is following paradigm he has created for his own self, his paradigm is not the one meant for you, his paradigm is his own way of living and understanding things around himself, It is not meant for you, it is his, it is his personal asset, it is his personal treasure'I asked,'But How do I come to know, what should I follow'He said,'Its embedded in you, try to find out'I asked,'How ! Through meditation !'He said,'Meditation is just one channel, just another paradigm, it may befit X but it may not for Y'I asked,'Is it this, what is called self-realization?'He said,' Yes right, Finding paradigm for your own self is called self-realization and mind it, it is not related in any way with meditation, meditation is just one of the way'I asked,'What are other ways'He said,'There are thousand ways of reaching Delhi, That thousand and oneth way is yours, That hitherto uncharted way is yours, That nascent virgin way is yours, That unadulterated way is yours. If you follow any of the already explored, pre-defined way then you are killing yourself.'I asked,'But is it not more efficient to follow earlier thousand ways than to explore new one'He said,'Yes it is, There is no doubt about it. But when you are following other's ways. There are times when you feel your faith is wavering. There are times when you feel like disowning the faith, the way you have been following. And it is true because you have been following something which was not yours. You have been sleeping with somebody else's wife and calling her yours. You have been thinking someone else as your parents. They are not yours. They cannot be yours. Because yours are withing yourself not outside'.I asked,'So How shall I find it'He said,'Be nude'I asked,'What does that suppose to mean'He said,'Be nude, as if you are born right now. Be nude as if no parent has taught you how to wear clothes. Be nude, as if no society as imposed anything unto yourself. Be nude as if you haven't been baptised by no religion. Be nude, as if no schools have taught you maths and physics. Be nude, as if no one has taught you to talk and write.'I asked,'Will that help me in finding my paradigm, my way'He said,'It will help you in doing things in your own way. It will help you in traversing the jungle which were hitherto lit by many milestones set by earlier pathformers. It will resuscitate the originality within yourself. It will in bring in the spiritual freedom unto yourself. The absolute freedom is begining of this spiritual revolution that hasn't happened yet.'I asked,'But does this faith help you in surviving winters, I doubt'He said,'Thats your paradigm, the paradigm of suspicion. The paradigm of suspicion in my paradigm, my faith. But I have myself clear that I won't die.'I asked,'Lets see'.He said,'I am happy'I asked,'Why?'He said,'I am happy that you don't believe in my paradigm, may be it is beginning of your self-realization'I wondered, I din't say anything much. I just saw the bell ringing above my head. Few diyas lit distant and pierced utter stretch of darkness. I stood up and decided to go home. Few steps ahead there was nothing I could look, it was complete dark. No moon, No light. Absolute black. I couldn't see much. But my eyes could see various shapes embedded in darkness. They were something wavy and varigated. I thought only I could see that. But Once my friend said, He also could see such varigated shapes in utter darkness. But one thing I was sure, It was not the same. It was not the same shapes that we both saw. It was our own personalized treasure. No two eyes saw them same. It was original as much as our paradigm, the hidden unconscious paradigm. I closed my eyes and opened again and made my way faster towards home.
1993 Earth
I heard some noise. My mom said the hind walls of my house was hot. We came out but couldn't move any further to enquire what has gone wrong. It was terror those times. Mumbai bomb blasts has threatened mumbaikars. My dad didn't go to office for last ten days. I didn't see my school past one month. Doordarshan has pledged to entertain common public by broadcasting old hit movies. Days were gone in curfew with short span release for about as small time to purchase some groceries. If a child is found roaming in curfew hours, police constables will start chatting with him. They were bored. They didn't like the way, it was being handled. They knew whenever some malfactors decided to sabotage or murder. They won't be there. They will be there just to witness the aftermath. They are not the heroes. They were just another witness whose job was to witness and record. Next day, When curfew was released for some time, I came out to breathe under open sky and see the surge of fresh crowd as though a damn has been put down and accumulated water made its way forward. I came behind my house to see what the yesterdays noise was all about. I saw ashes. I saw nothing else. Alas!! There used to be a timber shop owned by a Muslim. He was very ill tempered and I never liked him. I never uttered a good word to me. His woods used to be spread around the shop. Occassionally when I used to play football with my friends, football used to play with those wood pieces. He always battered us for this. He usually complained about this to my mom. I never liked him. I always wished this shop wouldn't be here. I always wish this guy wouldn't be here. So I should be happy that No more is he here. Only ashes. No ill tempered idiot. No complainant. Entire ground is mine. Tomorrow those debris will be cleaned and I'll get rather area for playing. But I didn't know why, I was in grief. Even though I disliked him. I was in grief. Despite I wanted that guy needn't be there. But I never wanted him to turn to ashes. I never liked the wood logs be there. But never ever could I imagine the ashes in place of them. I stood there awhile staring those ashes. I felt as if collective humanity has turned to ashes. Curfew was about to start, I went on to purchase groceries. I couldn't see well, I had tears in my eyes. I was not weeping for death of that guy. I was weeping for collective death of humanity. I weeping for death of everyone alive around me.
Love
Love is the essence of life. Big talks isn't it. Love is obsession of man kind. People love their parents, their partner, their friends and they want to be loved. It is simple give and take that they expect. They want to fall in love to be happy. It is the state of hallucination. Repetition is boring. Repetitious reading, repetitious talking all are boring. Mom's lullby is boring. It is meant to be boring. Lord's worship is boring. Why ? Because they all are repetitious. Repetitious things don't require much brains. Mind slithers into dull state while repeating things. So Mom's lullby works and child goes to sleep. Thats the reason, Lord's repetitious prayer works and prayee's mind goes to sleep. Precisely it is meant to lull your mind so that you cannot think radical. Right from beginning your parents keep telling you about norms and dictums of society. It makes your mind sleep, so you cannot think beyond society and its dictums.
Love nicely has the same essence. Love is repetition. Two people in love say 'I love you, I miss you and what not.',million times. These are like god's prayer, mom's lullby and it has the same effect, your mind sleeps. You reach the state of hallucination. This makes one happy. Alcohol, drugs, cocaine all are along the same line. Thats why a person defected from love, falls pray to alcohol. It is different way of reaching the same temple i.e the happiness. Love doesn't work then no problem alcohol works. Drugs works even better. What a society ? They have programmed every one right from there birth. To fall in hallucination of God's prayer, mom's lullby, Love, Drugs, Alcohol. All these kills your consciousness.
Love nicely has the same essence. Love is repetition. Two people in love say 'I love you, I miss you and what not.',million times. These are like god's prayer, mom's lullby and it has the same effect, your mind sleeps. You reach the state of hallucination. This makes one happy. Alcohol, drugs, cocaine all are along the same line. Thats why a person defected from love, falls pray to alcohol. It is different way of reaching the same temple i.e the happiness. Love doesn't work then no problem alcohol works. Drugs works even better. What a society ? They have programmed every one right from there birth. To fall in hallucination of God's prayer, mom's lullby, Love, Drugs, Alcohol. All these kills your consciousness.
Brothel
'Do you think, I am the most beautiful girl, you have seen.' She enquired coquettishly.'No. I thank God. you are not.' I sighed.'Why ?'.'A wise man said the most beautiful lady of the town is not the wife of one'.I knew it pinched her. No girl wants to listen that. Such truths are often unheard. But Alas !! Brothels are the best place to find the beautiful ladies of a particular place. Such ladies are not only beautiful superficially, they are even more so from within. They live their life for society. Not for herself but for others. It is misconception that they are sex-maniacs and they always like to wallow in sexual pleasures. Desire has a tipping point. Till tipping point pleasure attained by fulfilling material desire vary in direct proportion but after that it becomes irrespective of fulfillment of desire. She works for money, just like any other industry, nothing wrong in it per se. She doesn't have any heir so she spends everything on herself.
She is there so are girls safe in society. Let close the bars and you find surge in sexual crimes. She is there to pamper the lower needs of society. These lower needs have nothing to do with class per se. A millionaire industrialist's son and a mediocre rickshaw wala both are equally likely to have same lower needs and they both resort to ways abominable in society. But society doesn't recognise her service. A truly enlightened person doesn't roam around saying he's enlightened and come listen to his gospels. No ! He's not enligthened at all. He's got the ego inside him burning to be famous to be sought after to be worshipped. He cannot be enlightened unless he forgets he's enlightened. A prostitute does the social service unbeknownst of the fact that she does that. She doesn't expect anything out of her service. She's great in that sense. Somehow mature intelligensia of society has known this fact subtly, thats why brothels are part of society right from ancient age. But ironically, society has always condemned them. Society has outcasted those who visit brothels. Society doesn't recognise the service of prostitute. All this trickery is there to prohibit average person to prohibit visiting them. Because society believes in restraint. Restraint is glue to bind constituents of society. But firebrands and freaks are not bound. They are free. They visit wherever they wish. They do whatever they want. They are neither bound to brothel nor to society. They are free in absolute sense.
Is it not as good as saying. There are two kinds of person in society. One who run behind materialistic life and other who run from materialistic life. One person says I want money other says I don't want any money. But money is there in mind of both. Neither has left money. They both are bound. They both cling to money one in positive sense other in negative sense. Simliar to it, one guy clings to society other clings to brothel. They both are maniacs. They are bound. Neither is free. Either of them dream of the other. They are in one camp and dream of other. A person in camp of society dreams of brothels and the one in brothel thinks of society. Both have craving. Both are unsatisfied with status quo. Freedom comes by freeing oneself from both the extremes. Rising above both. Not clinging to either.
Being attached is sin for a freak. He clings to neither good nor bad. He is free from the boundaries of both.
She is there so are girls safe in society. Let close the bars and you find surge in sexual crimes. She is there to pamper the lower needs of society. These lower needs have nothing to do with class per se. A millionaire industrialist's son and a mediocre rickshaw wala both are equally likely to have same lower needs and they both resort to ways abominable in society. But society doesn't recognise her service. A truly enlightened person doesn't roam around saying he's enlightened and come listen to his gospels. No ! He's not enligthened at all. He's got the ego inside him burning to be famous to be sought after to be worshipped. He cannot be enlightened unless he forgets he's enlightened. A prostitute does the social service unbeknownst of the fact that she does that. She doesn't expect anything out of her service. She's great in that sense. Somehow mature intelligensia of society has known this fact subtly, thats why brothels are part of society right from ancient age. But ironically, society has always condemned them. Society has outcasted those who visit brothels. Society doesn't recognise the service of prostitute. All this trickery is there to prohibit average person to prohibit visiting them. Because society believes in restraint. Restraint is glue to bind constituents of society. But firebrands and freaks are not bound. They are free. They visit wherever they wish. They do whatever they want. They are neither bound to brothel nor to society. They are free in absolute sense.
Is it not as good as saying. There are two kinds of person in society. One who run behind materialistic life and other who run from materialistic life. One person says I want money other says I don't want any money. But money is there in mind of both. Neither has left money. They both are bound. They both cling to money one in positive sense other in negative sense. Simliar to it, one guy clings to society other clings to brothel. They both are maniacs. They are bound. Neither is free. Either of them dream of the other. They are in one camp and dream of other. A person in camp of society dreams of brothels and the one in brothel thinks of society. Both have craving. Both are unsatisfied with status quo. Freedom comes by freeing oneself from both the extremes. Rising above both. Not clinging to either.
Being attached is sin for a freak. He clings to neither good nor bad. He is free from the boundaries of both.
Me and My Judgement
Lillies bloomed. Forest fraught with leaves. Rabbits roamed around aimlessly. The air was still neither moving nor stale as if pregnant with inherent freshness. Distant banyan tree stood as giant facing the sky with uncommon dignity. Near to it, River was flowing with serene noise as if providing least possible clue of her presence. I thought, thats the proper place to sit in for a long time. I went near the tree. Its roots and root-lets impregnated the earth with utmost fierceness. Some of the root-lets, came out from soil at distance, as if disowning itself from its father. I looked around the gigantic stem to find some place where I can meditate as yogis did. The concave stem on one side was proper for the purpose. I judged the soil beneath with my naked foot. It was damp due to river flowing nearby. I brought some fallen dry leaves to soak the dampness and made it sit-able.
I closed my eyes and got lost in 'Dhyan'. Thoughts started disappearing. Initially some chanting was required to make myself devoid of stray worldly thoughts. Later on, 'Dhyan' was required to get rid of chanting itself. Absolute No Thought-State. Nothing appeared visually. Nothing could be heard either. Eyes couldn't see nothing. There is nothing in this world that could be called nothing. In short Nothing doesn't exist. There is always something. No eye can see nothing. It has to see something. But my eyes saw nothing. My eyes saw nothing because I was in no-thought state. Visually I was not able to judge, What I was seeing is light or darkness. It was something in-between or it was both or it was neither. Audibly I couldn't hear nothing. It was somebody calling me or nobody calling me or both or neither. It was the beauty of no-thought state that I was impaired from judging. Or I would say for sometime I was spared from judging. It was not the beauty of what I was seeing during 'Dhyan'. But it was the beauty of my sparing myself from judgement that has created state of No-Thought. Absolute nothingness.
Something etched me behind. I opened my eyes and saw many insects, ants etc were crawling on skin. It came from leaves I brought for sitting. I stood up and looked around. Spared my self of these tiny monsters. I thought, what a worthless world that I don't find a place to meditate. I better find some other place for it. I looked around but didn't see any other proper place. Disappointed I made my way towards home. I saw small puddle in the way. May be someday river water would have filled it. I gazed towards it. I gazed it strongly. I could see the ripples, some fallen leaves, some frogs staring from inside. Then I gazed it effortlessly. As If I don't have no brains to judge what it is and what it has. It was simply there. I was simply there. Both the witness and the object were simply there. I attained no-thought, again. Now it is not that puddle is not there or the frog is not there or the leaves have gone somewhere. They are simply there but my judgement missed. My judgement is not there. I am there simply. Me and My judgement is different. My judgement is my mind. Myself is my consciousness. The state of no-thought is consciousness. 'No judgement' is consciousness. I was in meditation. No more did I need banyan tree to meditate. No more did I need any chanting to meditate. I was already in 'Dhyan'. In fact, I became 'Dhyan'.
I closed my eyes and got lost in 'Dhyan'. Thoughts started disappearing. Initially some chanting was required to make myself devoid of stray worldly thoughts. Later on, 'Dhyan' was required to get rid of chanting itself. Absolute No Thought-State. Nothing appeared visually. Nothing could be heard either. Eyes couldn't see nothing. There is nothing in this world that could be called nothing. In short Nothing doesn't exist. There is always something. No eye can see nothing. It has to see something. But my eyes saw nothing. My eyes saw nothing because I was in no-thought state. Visually I was not able to judge, What I was seeing is light or darkness. It was something in-between or it was both or it was neither. Audibly I couldn't hear nothing. It was somebody calling me or nobody calling me or both or neither. It was the beauty of no-thought state that I was impaired from judging. Or I would say for sometime I was spared from judging. It was not the beauty of what I was seeing during 'Dhyan'. But it was the beauty of my sparing myself from judgement that has created state of No-Thought. Absolute nothingness.
Something etched me behind. I opened my eyes and saw many insects, ants etc were crawling on skin. It came from leaves I brought for sitting. I stood up and looked around. Spared my self of these tiny monsters. I thought, what a worthless world that I don't find a place to meditate. I better find some other place for it. I looked around but didn't see any other proper place. Disappointed I made my way towards home. I saw small puddle in the way. May be someday river water would have filled it. I gazed towards it. I gazed it strongly. I could see the ripples, some fallen leaves, some frogs staring from inside. Then I gazed it effortlessly. As If I don't have no brains to judge what it is and what it has. It was simply there. I was simply there. Both the witness and the object were simply there. I attained no-thought, again. Now it is not that puddle is not there or the frog is not there or the leaves have gone somewhere. They are simply there but my judgement missed. My judgement is not there. I am there simply. Me and My judgement is different. My judgement is my mind. Myself is my consciousness. The state of no-thought is consciousness. 'No judgement' is consciousness. I was in meditation. No more did I need banyan tree to meditate. No more did I need any chanting to meditate. I was already in 'Dhyan'. In fact, I became 'Dhyan'.
Intelligence
Master is one who creates instruments. Master is one who doesn't follow rules. Master is one who is rebellious.
Man creates one world withing himself. He retains one perception for each and every thing he observes around. As he keeps accumulating his experiences, he becomes more and more knowledged. His knowledge is the biggest hindrance in realizing the truth. By Truth I mean the real impression of any object. As a person grows more experienced, his perception for new objects becomes more and more adulterated. He does not see the real imression. He cannot witness the thing as they are. In short, he ceases to be intelligent. Knowledge is inversely proportional to intelligence. An intelligent person would be least knowledged and vice versa. A newly born child is more intelligent than MBA degree holder from Harvard. His knowledge is his hindrance. A child feels the actual, the prima facie experience of any object that an adult cannot. A least knowledged person in any particular field is potentially the inventor of most radical concept in the same. A painter will cease to do impeccable painting, if he materially measures each and every bit using yard-stick.
Being knowledged does not mean, one cannot be intelligent at all. But he'll cease to intelligent at those points when he applies maximum of his knowledge. The moment he shirks off all his knowledge and becomes a kid, he's bound to out-perform. Knowledge is enemy. Knowledge is enemy in the sense that a person judges any thing based on his knowledge. If a person observes a rose and concludes that it is beautiful or it is ugly or it is indifferent or it is marvelous. The rose has changed. The rose has been adulterated. The rose no more remains the one it was. For him, rose is rose plus the adjective, the judgement. This judgement is enemy. This judgement creates hiatus between the person and rose. They are not able to coalesce because of his judgement. They are not able to marry each other because of his judgement. An intelligent person is an absolute witness. He is a perfect witness. In the sense that he doesn't adulterate the thing with his judgement. He doesn't see the things through prism of his knowledge. He observes the rose as it is without judgement. He is a perfect observer like a kid who observes the rose but never judges. He doesn't have the mirror of intelligence tarnished by the dirt of knowledge. He's a pure experiencee.
Man creates one world withing himself. He retains one perception for each and every thing he observes around. As he keeps accumulating his experiences, he becomes more and more knowledged. His knowledge is the biggest hindrance in realizing the truth. By Truth I mean the real impression of any object. As a person grows more experienced, his perception for new objects becomes more and more adulterated. He does not see the real imression. He cannot witness the thing as they are. In short, he ceases to be intelligent. Knowledge is inversely proportional to intelligence. An intelligent person would be least knowledged and vice versa. A newly born child is more intelligent than MBA degree holder from Harvard. His knowledge is his hindrance. A child feels the actual, the prima facie experience of any object that an adult cannot. A least knowledged person in any particular field is potentially the inventor of most radical concept in the same. A painter will cease to do impeccable painting, if he materially measures each and every bit using yard-stick.
Being knowledged does not mean, one cannot be intelligent at all. But he'll cease to intelligent at those points when he applies maximum of his knowledge. The moment he shirks off all his knowledge and becomes a kid, he's bound to out-perform. Knowledge is enemy. Knowledge is enemy in the sense that a person judges any thing based on his knowledge. If a person observes a rose and concludes that it is beautiful or it is ugly or it is indifferent or it is marvelous. The rose has changed. The rose has been adulterated. The rose no more remains the one it was. For him, rose is rose plus the adjective, the judgement. This judgement is enemy. This judgement creates hiatus between the person and rose. They are not able to coalesce because of his judgement. They are not able to marry each other because of his judgement. An intelligent person is an absolute witness. He is a perfect witness. In the sense that he doesn't adulterate the thing with his judgement. He doesn't see the things through prism of his knowledge. He observes the rose as it is without judgement. He is a perfect observer like a kid who observes the rose but never judges. He doesn't have the mirror of intelligence tarnished by the dirt of knowledge. He's a pure experiencee.
Child & Parenthood
'But why do you want to marry me?' Says Sh.I replied,''cuz I want a girl friend.. The sustainable one ?'I paused for a while then asked,'And why are you marrying me?'Sh replies,'Because I want to have a child !!'I replied,' Kool, easy, marrying is not pre-requisite to have child'.Sh replies,'what do you mean?''I mean, you don't need to marry me or any one for that matter to have a child?''you can go to orphanage and have as many as you want..''No, But they won't be mine.''What do you mean by, they won't be mine'.'I mean, I want to be pregnant, I want to feel the agony, strafe for nine months.''Why? are you a masochist?''No I am not masochist, But I'll be happy to bear a child with your part in it'.'Whosoever child you adopt will be as much human as me'.'Its for you honey, that I want to forgo the pain.''But its not my desire to have a baby, I don't wish to have none'.'Then whats your desire. Just to live for our own self.. sleeping for enjoyment.. forever''yes.. forever'.
She hangs up. I thought for a moment this girl is much elder to me, even though younger biologically. Pulsating tone from phone-line has ended. I kept the phone up until the monotonous sound started to come. No couple marries to have child. Rather when the lady is pregnant, out of some harmonal action, feeling of parenthood starts in them. There is nothing love per se, just chemical reactions. Then what in this world makes this girl, think of that pleasure so early. On the top of it, she wants to be pregnant and bear the child for nine months. What responsibility ! Pain, Agony !!
Or is it the fact that the lady looks more beautiful during her pregnancy, makes her to intend it. Whatsoever be the reason, I don't understand why should any one ever need a child. I think as I grow old, I will realize, what to do with my property, my assets. Whom should I hand over these assets. Then I will feel need for offsprings. But just for pure economic reasons, I will require a child. Not for love or affection or any thing like that. I am not going to pursue any relationship for economic incentives. I am not a businessman. Just a plain thinker.
She hangs up. I thought for a moment this girl is much elder to me, even though younger biologically. Pulsating tone from phone-line has ended. I kept the phone up until the monotonous sound started to come. No couple marries to have child. Rather when the lady is pregnant, out of some harmonal action, feeling of parenthood starts in them. There is nothing love per se, just chemical reactions. Then what in this world makes this girl, think of that pleasure so early. On the top of it, she wants to be pregnant and bear the child for nine months. What responsibility ! Pain, Agony !!
Or is it the fact that the lady looks more beautiful during her pregnancy, makes her to intend it. Whatsoever be the reason, I don't understand why should any one ever need a child. I think as I grow old, I will realize, what to do with my property, my assets. Whom should I hand over these assets. Then I will feel need for offsprings. But just for pure economic reasons, I will require a child. Not for love or affection or any thing like that. I am not going to pursue any relationship for economic incentives. I am not a businessman. Just a plain thinker.
College
I pulled my leg up. It squelched as it came out of deep mud I mistakenly put my leg in thinking it solid rock. It was drizzling with soft sun overhead. I avoided any shadow and remained as much as possible in the ambiguity of rain and sun. I was walking fast aiming to reach college in time. I was apparently sweating. Every one felt, its rain-drops sticking on my face. But my exhausted face cannot tell any lie. It reflected my actual state of tireness and fatigue. At last I reached college, morning prayer has already ended and pupils dispersed. One corner had coffee shop in the ground floor. I had coffee and felt alive. (No !! That time I din't use to have cigerretes.)
I entered the class, sat on second bench. I left first bench for extra-super-studious chaps. I hated hind benches as most of their talks overshadowed the lectures and made it to subtle din. Most of the time I stared out side as I din't like to stare guys and was too shy to stare girls. Moreover ambience outside was more attractive than inside. Occassional heavy showers amid humdrum of drizzle as though some one is intentionally throwing water from roofs. Sun was denying to hide behind clouds. It was fully bright outside and sun light was piercing through partially opened windows. My inquistive eyes were looking for something, I guess for the sun that made the world bright but right now eluding somewhere.
I heard 'Hi' from soft shy voice. No ! it wasn't for me but for the guy sitting next to me. I din't expect the same for me. Neither did I look the other side. I kept staring outside. She said again 'Hi'. Now I saw.. I regret why did I.. The most enchanting beauty of my life.. She smiled unbeknownst of the fact that I was no more. She asked my name and college. I responded and asked hers. She went and sat back to her place. For me, the world has changed. Now I no more looked outside. No more inquisitive to find the sun who brightens the world, as I found already the one. As much the ambience inside became lively, mesmerized me couldn't look no further but herself. So did I remain till yet. Equally mesmerized and afresh as though I met that smile herenow.
Drizzle stopped by the evening. Sun disappeared as well. So did she. I kept witnessing transience to darkness. No! This darkness had nothing negative in it. It indeed provided me safe recluse to meet my beloved. Neither could it pierce within me. Because my within is already lit with beauty I witnessed in the morning.
Next day as routine I went to college, Again and... (I will write next day..)
I entered the class, sat on second bench. I left first bench for extra-super-studious chaps. I hated hind benches as most of their talks overshadowed the lectures and made it to subtle din. Most of the time I stared out side as I din't like to stare guys and was too shy to stare girls. Moreover ambience outside was more attractive than inside. Occassional heavy showers amid humdrum of drizzle as though some one is intentionally throwing water from roofs. Sun was denying to hide behind clouds. It was fully bright outside and sun light was piercing through partially opened windows. My inquistive eyes were looking for something, I guess for the sun that made the world bright but right now eluding somewhere.
I heard 'Hi' from soft shy voice. No ! it wasn't for me but for the guy sitting next to me. I din't expect the same for me. Neither did I look the other side. I kept staring outside. She said again 'Hi'. Now I saw.. I regret why did I.. The most enchanting beauty of my life.. She smiled unbeknownst of the fact that I was no more. She asked my name and college. I responded and asked hers. She went and sat back to her place. For me, the world has changed. Now I no more looked outside. No more inquisitive to find the sun who brightens the world, as I found already the one. As much the ambience inside became lively, mesmerized me couldn't look no further but herself. So did I remain till yet. Equally mesmerized and afresh as though I met that smile herenow.
Drizzle stopped by the evening. Sun disappeared as well. So did she. I kept witnessing transience to darkness. No! This darkness had nothing negative in it. It indeed provided me safe recluse to meet my beloved. Neither could it pierce within me. Because my within is already lit with beauty I witnessed in the morning.
Next day as routine I went to college, Again and... (I will write next day..)
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