Happiness

I didn't had any friends. No one thought the way I did. I was alone. But actually I was not alone. I had thoughts and I never cared if any one embraced them or not. Why should I feel happy for something thats not going to be there, the next moment? Why should I feel happy for temporary materialistic gains? There is no need for it per se. Everyone start having desire right from their childhood. They feel fulfilling the desire results in happiness. And yes they are right. But Happiness is such a mediocre thing to follow. everyone keep aspiring for it. Is it really important? It is important to make a difference. Happiness may not be result of all endeavors. I worked hard and did something. But I didn't feel happy in the end. Path was intriguing and exciting. But end was as mediocre and tasteless as it was before.

I have stopped living for the end. I live for the transition. Because I know the transition is the one thats exciting. Its not the end. Leave the thing, you love the most. so that you can keep loving it. Love that doesn't last forever is the love un-culminated. Culimination is death. Marriage is not the beginning. It is the end of love and begining of relationship. There is nothing lovely about relationships. It is economic and emotional. Nothing lovely, pure business. Emotional business.

Transition from bachelorehood to married guy, makes me realize that love is not noun, it's verb. Later on, it becomes habit and daily affair. By the time, its inculcated in your blood. It has lost the charm. We beget a child. What I feel for the baby is care and I realize, Love is care. When he's 20+ and doesn't listen to me. I realize, love is forgiving. When he's adult and lives far away, I realize, love is yearning. When I am no more. No more do I am in these bindings, these affairs. I realize, love was my one-ness with all others at some or the other point of time. I am enlightened and I am no more.